Two Blondes With Hammers...

Lynn and Judy were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity House. As Lynn was nailing down house siding, she would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.

Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, 'Why are you throwing those nails away?'

Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away.'

Judy got completely upset and yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!'

Good ones Brian. Here's another for the collection:

Subject: Fw: Blonde in church

An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate.I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."

No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood?Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression." Again, all was quiet.

Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."

The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared.

Life is short, smile while you still have teeth, give me an Amen .