AVarley Loc: Central Valley, California

... when I told her I wouldn't shoot her wedding. She gave me the "but you've got that great camera" speech (rolling eyes), and then played the "we can't afford to pay for photographer" card. Then she played to my ego with "but you do such a great job on pictures (did she say "pictures?" ), didn't you get some awards or something?"

I took a deep breath and still turned her down ... so she cried.

I told her that the day was too important for someone to "photograph" it who is only comfortable photographing the great outdoors. Continued by telling her that if she and her wedding party were a grove of trees or a mountainside and meadow, I'd be all over it. I just dont do humans because I dont understand humans. Period. I just know that if I caved and did the photos, there would be the inevitable repercussions later, along with decades (yes, decades) of passive-negativity in commentary from the family, most particularly the bride.

So I compromised. I'm sending her a check to help pay for a pro, and since I'm in another state, contacted a buddy of mine there who can help research a wedding pro with her.

I am feeling a little bad about it all, but feel confident in the resolve. I posted this story here for you guys to make me feel better about it, so please do your best!

GoofyNewfie Loc: Kansas City

Great advise. I blew my sister's wedding. I was just out of high school and was using my Mamiya C330. The photos I took with the 80mm normal lens were all dark. The MX switch had slipped to M, for flash bulbs. In that setting, my electronic flash was firing before the shutter opened.
Everything I shot with the 55mm was fine. They're still married though. I've shot countless weddings since then, but check & double check to make sure things are working properly.

Old Timer Loc: Greenfield, In.

Dealings of any kind with family or friends usually does not have a desirable out come. You are not supposed to charge if it is family, but if you do free you are being a good guy, but that is all right because you do not charge family. But if you need help or a favor back, be ready for an excuses.

gmcase Loc: Galt's Gulch

Had a similar situation. I wasn't willing to risk it for their sake. Weddings are not my interest or skill set and I freely admit it.

snowbear

You did the right thing. Now you can enjoy her wedding instead of working it.

randymoe

You definitely did the right thing. I laughed when you said you don't understand humans. I often prefer trees and mossy forest.

But I would still take my smallest camera without a flash and shoot what you like, maybe the trees behind the church.

photo guy Loc: Chippewa Falls, WI

I offered to do my brother's wedding but he said no they would hire someone his at the time to be wife knew. At the wedding the photographer was so unprofessional, unorganized, and unprepared that my brother had to show the photographer how to even do some of the things that they should have known. After the main part of the wedding and during the reception when a lot of this happened, my bother even came over to me and asked me what I would do. I told him to get a partial refund and get some extras for free then for all of the problems. It took almost 3 weeks after the wedding to get everything straightened out to the point where they got a partial refund, cds of all the photos taken, and some free prints. The photographer then had the guts to ask if she could use them for a reference. My brther said NO. Funny part of this was my brother then apologized to me later and said he should have had me do the wedding.

jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY

You can drive a car, so you should be able to fly a plane, right?

Nikon_DonB Loc: Chicago

I had a similar situation but just the opposite this last July. I took my D3100 to my favorite niece's wedding and reception and took a multitude of pix of the event.
She had a friend shooting the event who was supposedly a pro she knew from college. This so-called pro had a couple of fancy looking Canons(I won't say a word here.)

I got a call the next morning from by sister-in-law(my niece's mother)and she was hysterical. It turns out that somehow the so-called pros memory chips from "both" of her Canons somehow had gotten wet and were destroyed. All the images were lost.

Well, Uncle Don to the rescue. I had a few hundred images of the entire day. Boy was my wife "eating crow," because she had harped at me all afternoon about taking so many pix.
As she said,"Ya know they have a professional here for that!" "You are just getting in the way!"

"How much in the way am I now???" I asked her.

jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY

I'd love to know how that happened. I have a 64MB SD card, and I'm tempted to submerge it and see what happens.

Would anyone else like to try this and save me the trouble?

Correction: that's a CF card, and they seem to have more openings.

AVarley Loc: Central Valley, California

Thanks all for your words of support and your stories from the family-photography trenches.

... btw, just got off the phone with our mom. Yup, she played the mom card. (sheesh) Still not happenin sis, sorry. She was always a brat, even when we were kids. :)

randymoe

LOL

randymoe

Water won't hurt a card, IF you get it totally dry before applying power...well maybe salt residue or Coke a Cola sugars left behind, but cell phones dry out just fine.

More likely she shot without a card. I have done it.

sinatraman Loc: Vero Beach Florida, Earth,alpha quaudrant

you are in the right. just because you have a camera and are good with it doesn't qualify you to shoot weddings anymore than the fact i am good with aknife makes me a surgeon. they are called PROFESSIONAL wedding photographers for a reason. they know what to shoot, how to deal with difficult lighting situations, difficult client situations, how to make the bride and groom look their best. It is an admirable specialty. tell your sister you want to be able to enjoy her wonderfull wedding undistracted, and you can not do that if you are shooting their wedding. tell her you are a landscape photographer not a wedding photographer, and going to you is like going to a podiatrist to talk about eye problems. stick to your guns. I suspect she really wants you to cover the wedding for free so she saves a few bucks. You could tell her you'll do it but quote her an outrageous figure so she goes elsewhere. good luck

tramsey Loc: Texas

Of all the things that I have learned on HH one of them that stands out is DON'T DO WEDDINGS -- ESPECIALLY FAMILY WEDDINGS.' They expect it to be free and if the photos aren't exactly what expected, you'll hear things like 'Well, you know, she's not a pro.' Even if that's what you have been telling them all along. You're right it will go on for decades.
Come with me and we'll go talk to the trees.
I have a T shirt that says 'The More People I Meet The Better I Like My DOG.' I can't wear it out of the yard.
It will be much more enjoyable for you to watch the wedding and enjoy it than to work it. It's a BIG no-no