Yes, we're older....BUT
Nov 17, 2014 07:23:49 #
ARE WE THE ONES WITH DEMENTIA OR ARE WE THE ONES WHO ARE AGING??
ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the
menu that you could order
6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,'
said the teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied. 'We only have
six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets,
but I can order six?'
'That's right,' said the teenager.
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable, but sadly true...)
(Must have been the same one I asked for
sweetener and she said they didn't have any,
only Splenda and sugar.
TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart
with just a few items and the lady behind
me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those dividers that
they keep by the cash register and placed
it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the divider, looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today. She said 'OK,' and
I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened
(But the lady behind me had a big smile on
her face as I left)
THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM thingy.
(Keep shuddering!!)
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need
some help?' I asked.
She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door un-locker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this ?? 'Hmm, I don't know. Do you have
an alarm on your car?', I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.
As I took the key and manually unlocked
the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive
over there and check about the batteries.
It's a long way to walk....'
PLEASE
just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!
FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.
Brunette, by the way!!
SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants.
The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant k**ler......'
Dispatcher,
'Rush him in to emergency right now !!!
Life is tough.
It's even tougher when you're Stupid !!!
Someone had to remind me,
so I'm reminding you too.
Don't laugh .... it is all true .......
Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60
and heading towards 70!
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely
to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run --- anywhere.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask,
"Did I wake you?"
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the
hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 4 or 5 PM.
9. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
10. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
11. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
12. You sing along with elevator music.
13. Your eyes won't get much worse.
14. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to payoff.
15. Your joints are more accurate
meteorologists than the national weather service.
16. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
17. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
18. You can't remember who sent you this list.
19. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience
Forward this to everyone you can remember right now!
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the
menu that you could order
6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,'
said the teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied. 'We only have
six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets,
but I can order six?'
'That's right,' said the teenager.
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable, but sadly true...)
(Must have been the same one I asked for
sweetener and she said they didn't have any,
only Splenda and sugar.
TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart
with just a few items and the lady behind
me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those dividers that
they keep by the cash register and placed
it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the divider, looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today. She said 'OK,' and
I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened
(But the lady behind me had a big smile on
her face as I left)
THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM thingy.
(Keep shuddering!!)
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need
some help?' I asked.
She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door un-locker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this ?? 'Hmm, I don't know. Do you have
an alarm on your car?', I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.
As I took the key and manually unlocked
the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive
over there and check about the batteries.
It's a long way to walk....'
PLEASE
just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!
FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.
Brunette, by the way!!
SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants.
The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant k**ler......'
Dispatcher,
'Rush him in to emergency right now !!!
Life is tough.
It's even tougher when you're Stupid !!!
Someone had to remind me,
so I'm reminding you too.
Don't laugh .... it is all true .......
Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60
and heading towards 70!
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely
to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run --- anywhere.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask,
"Did I wake you?"
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the
hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 4 or 5 PM.
9. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
10. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
11. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
12. You sing along with elevator music.
13. Your eyes won't get much worse.
14. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to payoff.
15. Your joints are more accurate
meteorologists than the national weather service.
16. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
17. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
18. You can't remember who sent you this list.
19. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience
Forward this to everyone you can remember right now!
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
Nov 17, 2014 09:45:38 #
Nov 17, 2014 11:41:40 #
Nov 17, 2014 19:32:39 #
Nov 17, 2014 19:37:47 #
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