Three Wishes (Joke)
Sep 8, 2014 09:30:30 #
A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.
The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in."
When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass.
A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.
"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."
"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."
"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"
"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.
"I'd like to own a gorgeous home in every country in the world complete with servants," she said.
"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"
"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"
"You know I love you, sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the same for you!"
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?"
"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.
"No Kidding," he said. "Thirty-five years old and you both still believe in genies?"
:D 8-)
The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in."
When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass.
A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.
"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."
"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."
"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"
"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.
"I'd like to own a gorgeous home in every country in the world complete with servants," she said.
"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"
"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"
"You know I love you, sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the same for you!"
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?"
"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.
"No Kidding," he said. "Thirty-five years old and you both still believe in genies?"
:D 8-)
Sep 8, 2014 09:48:19 #
Sep 8, 2014 10:27:59 #
Funny joke, thanks for sharing. I "borrowed" it to post to my friends on FB. :D
Sep 9, 2014 14:47:44 #
dljen wrote:
Funny joke, thanks for sharing. I "borrowed" it to post to my friends on FB. :D
HORRORS! You 'borrowed' someone elses joke without first begging and receiving their notarized permission. Do you realize what this means? I don't either, but considering how you felt about the subject two days ago, it must be serious......does this mean that you're now a Christian?
Yep! You now a Christian...at least by the definition you've been using against Christians lo these many months.
Not to "cram anything down your throat", but "God bless you."
:roll:
Sep 9, 2014 15:55:30 #
Batman wrote:
HORRORS! You 'borrowed' someone elses joke without first begging and receiving their notarized permission. Do you realize what this means? I don't either, but considering how you felt about the subject two days ago, it must be serious......does this mean that you're now a Christian?
Yep! You now a Christian...at least by the definition you've been using against Christians lo these many months.
Not to "cram anything down your throat", but "God bless you."
:roll:
Yep! You now a Christian...at least by the definition you've been using against Christians lo these many months.
Not to "cram anything down your throat", but "God bless you."
:roll:
Batman, you are officially batcrap crazy! I am not nor will I ever again be a christian. I outgrew that a long time ago...it's called logic! :XD: :XD:
Sep 9, 2014 16:57:41 #
user47602
Loc: ip 304.0.0.33.32
...a joke, not about Christians.... Batman wtf? go back to your beautitoods!
Sep 9, 2014 17:06:10 #
Sep 9, 2014 18:04:52 #
Sep 9, 2014 18:10:21 #
dljen wrote:
Batman, you are officially batcrap crazy! I am not nor will I ever again be a christian. I outgrew that a long time ago...it's called logic! :XD: :XD:
Nope...actually, it's called "revenge and punishment".
:thumbup:
Sep 10, 2014 10:20:00 #
chewy wrote:
How did you find out about my bad day on the golf course?
How could you and your lady have believed I was a genie? :twisted: :mrgreen:
Sep 10, 2014 19:57:02 #
Chuy
Loc: OUT OF TOWN
Bmac wrote:
How could you and your lady have believed I was a genie? :twisted: :mrgreen:
I thought you where a space man. :lol: :thumbup:
Sep 11, 2014 00:18:43 #
Sep 11, 2014 19:41:40 #
chewy wrote:
I thought you where a space man. :lol: :thumbup:
Exactly my point. :D
Sep 11, 2014 19:42:01 #
Sep 11, 2014 19:58:58 #
Chuy
Loc: OUT OF TOWN
Bmac wrote:
Exactly my point. :D
:lol: :thumbup: I'll never watch I dream of genie again.
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