tlbuljac Loc: Oklahoma

Last Sunday after church and while shopping at the local Pet Smart for food for my pet lab retriever. I had a situation happen to me that not only was somewhat hysterical, but caused a scene as well.

While standing in line at the checkout counter with a huge 55lb bag of Iams dog food draped over my shoulder, I suddenly felt a tap on my arm. When turning around and in front of me was this very attractive mid to late 50's very cute and sexy lady. She says to me "You must have a dog"?

I had to laugh and thought to myself, no lady I have a damn elephant. What the hell do you think I have?. But being a clown that I am, I thought she must have been a blond at one time (brunette now) and decided to have some fun with her.

Without batting an eye nor any hesitation on my part, I said to her in my most serious voice and straight as an arrow face, "No, actually I just got out of the hospital and decided to go back on the Iams dog food diet to lose some weight". You should have seen the look on her face, she swallowed this hook, line and sinker.

I might also add that there were three other people standing in line behind her. A lady with two young children, a elderly gentleman with a walking cane and a senior lady with a small dog she was holding near her well rounded breasts (damn lucky dog). All of whom had heard my response to this somewhat naïve woman.

After pondering my response for awhile, she says to me. "Wow!!! I never heard of the Iamns dog food diet. How does it work". I told her that I just put several niblets in my pocket and pop them one at a time in my mouth as I jog through the neighborhood. I have lost as much as 22 pounds in doing so".

Now the three people behind her who have been listening intensely gathered even closer. The elder gentleman had a huge smile on his face and even winked at me as I was telling my story. He definitely caught on to what I was doing. The other two, I was not too sure of. But my lady friend was taking the bait with every word I spoke.

After telling this, my inquisitive lady says to me, "well you said you just got out of the hospital. Did the food make you sick and that is why you were in"?

To this I responded with a gentle smile yet serious tone, "No, actually I stepped off the curb while jogging to sniff a French poodle's behind and got hit by an automobile". The look on her face was worth a million dollars as again, she took the bait.

I thought the elder gentleman standing in line behind her was going to have a stroke. He was slapping his knee and pounding his cane on the countertop, while laughing profusely. The lady with the kids just shook her head. While the lady with the dog just rolled her eyes and gave me a cute wink.

The checkout lady called her manager and explained to him what had just happened. After hearing the story, that almost caused the elder gentleman to have a heart attack, I was asked to leave the store and never return again. Now I'm looking for a new store to shop for four legged friend. :) :)

bikerbill7

Some people simply have no sense of humour, by the way was the french poodle cute?

jstoogy Loc: Central Pa.

That's a great story I thought any how, thanks for sharing.

dljen Loc: Central PA

Hahahaha, maybe she was a blonde at one time. It's called the changeability factor! I must admit, I'm a blonde but not THAT dense.

Funny joke, thanks for sharing!

twowindsbear

Amazon!!!! Probably a better price than that store, too - especially if you have a Prime membership.

tlbuljac Loc: Oklahoma

Very much so, I got her phone number and have been spending some quality time in the dog house

tlbuljac Loc: Oklahoma

Donna, you have me fooled.....LOL

tlbuljac Loc: Oklahoma

Donna, you have me fooled....LOL (wink wink)

GTinSoCal Loc: Palmdale, CA

ROTFLMAO

and...


here's your sign!

GT

dljen Loc: Central PA

How so? Being blonde or not dense? ;)