ianhargraves1066 Loc: NEW SMYRNA BEACH, Florida

Genesis Chapter One Verse 1
A Revelation with an Incredibly Big Message (IBM)
Well you might have thought that you knew how the Internet started
But today you are going to know the TRUE story.

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of
Abraham com did take unto himself a young woman by the Name of Dot.
And Dot was a comely women, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed She was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And She said unto her husband, “Why dost thou travel so far from town to town when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent.
And Abraham did look at her as if She were several saddlebags short of a camel load but simply said “How , dear”

And Dot replied “I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to say what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who has the best price.
And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah’s Delivery Stable (UPS).

Abraham thought long and hard and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums . And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all his goods at top price without having to move his tent.
To prevent other countries from overhearing what the drums were saying Dot devised a system that only She and the drummers were knew. It was called “Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS) and She also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures – Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secrete himself inside Abrahams drum and began to siphon off some of Abrahams business but he was soon discovered and prosecuted for insider trading.
And the young men did take to Dot Com’s trading as doth the greedy fly to the camels dung.
They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS
And Lo, the land was so filled with joy at the new riches and the deafining sound of drums, that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum maker, Brother William of Gates, who bought off ever drum maker in the land.

And did indeed insist on drums that would only work with Brother Gate’s drum heads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say “Oh Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others.
And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Eziekial, or EBAY as it came to known and he said “We need a name that reflects what we are.
And Dot replied “young Ambitious Gregarious Energetic Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot’s drums to locate things around the countryside. It soon became known as Gods Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).
And that is how it all began!

Know you know the truth.

Ian

Nikonian72 Loc: Chico CA

Amen! Let the truth go forth.

mooseeyes Loc: Sonora, California

Now that is funny! One question though. . .I didn't see Al Gore mentioned anywhere??? :)

ianhargraves1066 Loc: NEW SMYRNA BEACH, Florida

This was a nice Biblical post and you have to go and spoil it. Haha I'll have to think of an addendum!!

Ian

Nikon_DonB Loc: Chicago

Wow, now I know who has all the "good stuff!" Good Job!

One Jughead Loc: Greene County, OH

And all of this time I thought it was a 19th century invention.
Where have I been?

ianhargraves1066 Loc: NEW SMYRNA BEACH, Florida

Well just think, you could bake one loaf and catch one fish and one glass of water and really make Photoshop work hard.

We know that Cecil B De Mille parted the Red Sea , maybe he had a loaner copy of Paintshop Pro, Version 1955BC.

Ian

ianhargraves1066 Loc: NEW SMYRNA BEACH, Florida

You should see the version from Mr.Nikononian72 and his amazing dancing Photographs. I will post his version in a mo!

Here it is!!!!!!

Its ashame because the younger posters will never have heard of MSDOS and all the other older computer terms!



From: Nikonian72 (all from/all to)
Subject: My edit of How the Internet Really Starterd


How the Internet Really Started
or
A Revelation with an Incredibly Big Message (IBM)


Windows Chapter One, Verse 1

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham of Com did take unto himself a young woman by the name of Dot. And Dot was a comely women, broad of shoulder, thin of waist, and long of leg. Indeed She was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And She said unto her husband, “Why dost thou travel so far from town to town when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?” And Abraham did gaze upon her as if she were several saddlebags short of a camel load, but simply asked “How so, Dear?”

And Dot replied “I have heard of a man named Algore who has placed drums in all the towns, and drums in between. These drums will spread the word of what you have for sale, and the drums will also reply back to you, proclaiming who offers the best price. Furthermore, payment can be confirmed by your pal named Pay, and delivery made by Uriah’s Delivery Stable” (UPS).

Abraham thought long and hard and decided he would follow Dot's guidance concerning Algore's drums, which boomed away, and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all his goods at top price without having to move his tent.

To prevent the Philistines from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot commissioned young men to devise a signal system that only she, Algore, and the drummers would know. The young men called themselves Gregarious Eclectic & Energetic Kids or GEEKs, and their signal was called Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS). They also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures called Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

And lo, the land was so filled with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums, that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum designer, Brother William of Gates, who bought-off every drum maker in the land. And did indeed insist on drums that would only work with Brother Gate’s drum heads and drumsticks.

But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secrete himself inside Algore's drum and began to siphon off some of Abraham's business but he was soon discovered and prosecuted for insider trading.

And Dot did say “Oh Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others”. And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or EBAY as it came to known and he said “We need specialists, whom we will call Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites”, or NERDS. And Dot replied “We have anointed such men”, who soon started using Algore’s drums to locate things around the countryside. It soon became known as God's Open & Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

And that is how it all began!


Incidently, I did not write the original, it was sent to me by a crazy friend from England.
The Green people killed him off I think as I have not heard from him for a long time. He lived in a basement apartment close to the seashore, the rising tide probably got him.

Danilo Loc: Las Vegas

I just KNEW my life was missing something!!

rayford2 Loc: New Bethlehem, PA

I always thought MSDOS was MRDOS's wife.
Thanks for correcting my thought.

Seriously, I loved the story.

Most kids won't get it, though.

PNagy Loc: Missouri City, Texas

This is an obvious apocrypha; everyone knows that Al Gore was there at the creation.

dragonfist Loc: Stafford, N.Y.

The Lord looked down from on high and said,"Abraham I see what thou hath wrought and it is good, however be thou careful that thy people do not make it an idol and worship it".

arphot Loc: Massachusetts

Not to be a proverbial thorn in thy side, but Uriah’s Delivery Stable would be UDS.

bedgmon Loc: Burleson, Texas

VERY CLEVER!
Enjoyed and brought a LOL to begin my morning.

Singing Swan

My Mamma used to tell me all the time my attitude toward religion was sacrilegious, but now I think not. What I want to know is who are .net....and .org? Abraham and Amazon's children?