Dear Cats and Dogs
Mar 5, 2014 09:07:53 #
When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note - placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything larger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort.
Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping. They can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit trough the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years; canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is to kiss me, then go smell the other dog's or cat's behind. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.
Thank you.
Sarge69
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note - placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything larger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort.
Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping. They can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit trough the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years; canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is to kiss me, then go smell the other dog's or cat's behind. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.
Thank you.
Sarge69
Mar 5, 2014 09:20:56 #
sarge69 wrote:
When I say to move, it means go someplace else, no... (show quote)
Spoken more like a Colonel than a Sarge....funny stuff...
:lol: :thumbup:
Mar 5, 2014 11:24:04 #
Mar 6, 2014 10:23:51 #
OMG, this is SO my life! I have 2 rescued dogs (80 lbs or so each) and a foster Rottweiler (100 lbs) and managing to keep from falling off of the bed during the night counts as a major win for me.
Falling on the floor laughing with tears in my eyes ... thanks for a great start to my Thursday!
Falling on the floor laughing with tears in my eyes ... thanks for a great start to my Thursday!
Mar 6, 2014 15:21:39 #
You have been spying on my house I see. With a Pitt, Husky and a Rotti, sounds just like my place.
Mar 6, 2014 15:55:35 #
Mine are an American Akita/Black Lab mix, a Husky/Greyhound mix and the full blooded Rottweiler. They keep me in stitches most of the time - except for when I'm sitting on the floor at 2 a.m. staring at the Rottweiler who has a satisfied, smug look on his face :)
Mar 6, 2014 17:29:53 #
Very well said. If they would just listen! Just a little bit?
Mar 6, 2014 17:51:10 #
sarge69 wrote:
When I say to move, it means go someplace else, no... (show quote)
You should be grateful that they keep you as a pet. :-D :-D
Mar 6, 2014 22:33:09 #
Do you have one of my dogs staying over? This sounds too familiar!
Mar 7, 2014 00:38:40 #
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