Gitzo Loc: Indiana

It Can Now be Revealed — the President’s Real Name

Bill Tatro | Jun 08, 2013

On the first Friday of each month, the financial markets, the mainstream media, and, in fact, the whole world eagerly await the U.S. monthly jobs report.

Tony Slydini, Doug Henning, Ricky Jay, Warren and Annabelle, and even Harry Houdini (some of the greatest magicians of all-time, apologies to others), would be truly proud of the art of misdirection repeatedly achieved by the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) and subsequently via the Obama administration.

In the 1970s, inflation was so rampant — created by the move to fiat currency while totally abandoning the gold standard — that instead of dealing with the problem, the administration utilized the art of misdirection. For example, the Arab Oil Embargo of 1973 had a very dramatic impact on gasoline prices which in turn created skyrocketing transportation costs and escalating food prices.

Indeed, double-digit inflation was headline news day in and day out. From a public relations perspective, in an attempt to mitigate this powerful inflationary effect, the administration simply removed energy and food from the equation by inventing a brand new term in economics called “core inflation.” Voilà! Thus, an extraordinary decrease in inflation was instantly created, or so the government said.

Fast-forward to the present-day, and misdirection has once again made its way into the headlines of the day. Each month, as the world waits with bated breath to discover the number of jobs allegedly created, the real story is the dramatic toll it takes on everyday lives as wages, total earnings, and hours worked continue to decline at a record pace.

AS CORPORATIONS STRIVE TO INCREASE EARNINGS PER SHARE, IMPLEMENT STOCK BUYBACKS, AND PAYOUT DIVIDENDS, THEIR ONLY RECOURSE IS TO BUTCHER AND DESTROY THEIR U.S. WORKFORCE.

Thus, it comes as no surprise that Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer recently took great pride in announcing Microsoft’s intention of creating thousands of jobs — not in the United States — but in Beijing, China. This revelation presented a significant public relations problem for the Obama administration. However, a magical rationalization in the form of misdirection was quickly applied in order to spin the real story.

First, nothing up my sleeve, the box is empty, and there are no wires of any kind. Now observe!

An $80,000 per year job is lost to China for only $30,000, therefore creating a mystical savings to the corporation of $50,000 which generates a better earnings report, an increased dividend, and higher company bonuses. Next, three service jobs are supernaturally created at an annual salary of $22,500 apiece which represents a 300% increase in the BLS Friday jobs report.

And now the grand finale!

With sleight of hand, the president takes full credit for all the newly created jobs.

The next time the Sergeant at Arms of the House of Representatives introduces the president, instead of declaring, “Mr. Speaker, the president of the United States,” he’ll magically announce, “Mr. Speaker, the Great Obama-dini!”

SpeedyWilson Loc: Upstate South Carolina

A few other suggestions:

Ofake-adini

Oliaro-dini

Otraitor-dini

fhadfield

I like simply "Obastard".

pounder35 Loc: "Southeast of Disorder"

Not a magician. An impersonator or illusionist might be a better term. :thumbup:

Bill Cain Loc: Pittsburgh, PA