something funny I read
Dec 10, 2011 16:29:50 #
I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a
stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat
it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that,
since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much
fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up
and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4
feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and
toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport
it home.
I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with
my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well
back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer
showed up-- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out
from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there
and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end
so I would have a good hold..
The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could
tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a
step towards it, it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope
.., and then received an education. The first thing that I learned is
that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you
rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.
That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that
pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or
a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some
dignity. A deer-- no Chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and
pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to
it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the
ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as
good an idea as I had originally imagined.. The only upside is that they
do not have as much stamina as many other animals.
A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as
quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It
took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the
blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost
my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature
off the end of that rope.
I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging
around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At
the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that
moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling
was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots
where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head
against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could
still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance
that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we
were in. I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I
managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a
little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute. I got
it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.
Did you know that deer bite?
They do! I never in a million years would have thought
that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when ..... I
reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my
wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse
where they just bite you and slide off to then let go. A deer bites you
and shakes its head--almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it
hurts.
The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably
to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead.
My method was ineffective.
It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several
minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a
deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it.
While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached
up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.
That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for
the day.
Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear
right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder
level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp... I learned a long time
ago that, when an animal -like a horse --strikes at you with their
hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to
make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This
will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.
This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such
trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a
different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.
The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a
horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit
you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses
after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because
the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and
knocked me down.
Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does
not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger
has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down
on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering
your head.
I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer
went away. So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a
rifle with a scope......to sort of even the odds!!
All these events are true so help me God... An Educated
Farmer
stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat
it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that,
since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much
fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up
and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4
feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and
toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport
it home.
I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with
my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well
back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer
showed up-- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out
from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there
and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end
so I would have a good hold..
The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could
tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a
step towards it, it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope
.., and then received an education. The first thing that I learned is
that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you
rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.
That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that
pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or
a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some
dignity. A deer-- no Chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and
pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to
it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the
ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as
good an idea as I had originally imagined.. The only upside is that they
do not have as much stamina as many other animals.
A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as
quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It
took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the
blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost
my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature
off the end of that rope.
I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging
around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At
the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that
moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling
was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots
where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head
against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could
still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance
that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we
were in. I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I
managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a
little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute. I got
it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.
Did you know that deer bite?
They do! I never in a million years would have thought
that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when ..... I
reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my
wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse
where they just bite you and slide off to then let go. A deer bites you
and shakes its head--almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it
hurts.
The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably
to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead.
My method was ineffective.
It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several
minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a
deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it.
While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached
up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.
That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for
the day.
Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear
right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder
level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp... I learned a long time
ago that, when an animal -like a horse --strikes at you with their
hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to
make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This
will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.
This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such
trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a
different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.
The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a
horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit
you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses
after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because
the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and
knocked me down.
Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does
not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger
has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down
on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering
your head.
I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer
went away. So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a
rifle with a scope......to sort of even the odds!!
All these events are true so help me God... An Educated
Farmer
Dec 10, 2011 21:00:08 #
That is SOOO funny!!! I laughed so hard that my sides hurt. I can just see you being drug around by that deer.
Dec 10, 2011 22:17:38 #
laughs, was not me molly, I just read that on another site and thought it was funny as heck, glad it made you laugh, I think we all need more laughter
Dec 10, 2011 22:33:30 #
That is one of the funniest stories I've read in a long time.
Thank you so much for sharing.
Thank you so much for sharing.
Dec 10, 2011 22:45:03 #
rickyd wrote:
I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it i... (show quote)
only question I have is did yiou buy a .30-30 or a 35 remington :).
Bambi wrangling is not a sport for the reasons you learned.
I feel your pain, but I had to chuckle anyway
Hope you heal up quick ( and moose taste better and yoi dont rope them)
Dec 10, 2011 23:33:15 #
rickyd wrote:
laughs, was not me molly, I just read that on another site and thought it was funny as heck, glad it made you laugh, I think we all need more laughter
I realized after my post that it was something you read elsewhere, but it is one of the funniest things i came across in a long time. hope you can find more to share.
Dec 11, 2011 07:35:32 #
Great story.
Have you seen the commercial this year where an adult male hooks up his 'magic box' and starts playing "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" and then they pan to Grandma in a chair, all banged up, who states "I had the right of way" ?
She looks good compared to this guy.
Have you seen the commercial this year where an adult male hooks up his 'magic box' and starts playing "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" and then they pan to Grandma in a chair, all banged up, who states "I had the right of way" ?
She looks good compared to this guy.
Dec 11, 2011 09:44:06 #
Dec 11, 2011 10:58:58 #
Dec 11, 2011 11:23:09 #
Now ya'll might think this guy was totally foolish, but back here in the wilderness where I live, the deer haven't seen very many humans and so they aren't always afraid and run the other way. I had one that always and ALWAYS ate my grapes and one day, I saw it right out in the back yard and I thought to scare it away. I was going to sneak up behind a stack of cinder blocks and then jump out at it like a banshee. Well, I did, and it ran away after it managed to get it's feet back under it (I did scare it for a second) but she....blasted meanie, came back the next day on stripped my grapevines clean. There wasn't a leaf or grape still there. Then she proceeded, a few weeks later, to go lay in my patch of ground cherries and give birth to a set of twins, which she quickly taught to regard my garden as the local 7-11. I have since decided that deer have a significantly developed sense of revenge. Makes me wonder what this poor fellow is going to find in his fields some day, or whether the deer will convince his herd to depart for greener pastures on the other side of the forest!!
Dec 11, 2011 12:20:40 #
That was the best!! sorry you got your $#@% handed to you by a deer rickyd but what a great story.I'm not laughing at you i'm laughing with you. Take it from a deer hunter they are vicious animals thanks for the story loved it.
Dec 11, 2011 13:12:42 #
That was a really great story - thanks for sharing it. Still LMAO!!! hahhaha
Dec 11, 2011 14:28:24 #
thanks for all the replys, I love making people laugh and smile,,I thinks its the best medicine for whatever is going on in a persons life,,life can be a @@@@@ at times and if I can bring a smile to anyones face then I feel I have done something good,,keep shooting yall
Dec 12, 2011 00:55:25 #
Dec 14, 2011 14:36:00 #
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