Marriage humour
Oct 1, 2013 18:51:40 #
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable or get married and wish you were dead.
***
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
***
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
***
Young son: "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: "That happens in every country, son."
***
Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."
***
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence
***
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
***
First guy: "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
***
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex.
***
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children.
A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him,
"Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick?
That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up."
You can stay single and be miserable or get married and wish you were dead.
***
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
***
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
***
Young son: "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: "That happens in every country, son."
***
Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."
***
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence
***
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
***
First guy: "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
***
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex.
***
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children.
A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him,
"Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick?
That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up."
Oct 4, 2013 21:17:48 #
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