Why men are seldom depressed
Sep 19, 2013 12:18:00 #
WHY MEN ARE SELDOM DEPRESSED
Men Are Just Happier People --
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays the same throughout your life.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack..
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station toilet because this one is just too disgusting.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay..
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $7000....Suit rental- $120.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A fourteen-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $9.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
You are unable to see wrinkles on your face.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25 minutes.
NICKNAMES
· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
· If Mike, Dave and Charlie go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Partner, Buddy and Bro.
EATING OUT
· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and Charlie will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators..
MONEY
· A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
· A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
· A woman has the last word in any argument.
· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the kitchen rubbish bin,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and
romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it
and to the men who will enjoy reading it.
Men Are Just Happier People --
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays the same throughout your life.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack..
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station toilet because this one is just too disgusting.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay..
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $7000....Suit rental- $120.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A fourteen-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $9.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
You are unable to see wrinkles on your face.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25 minutes.
NICKNAMES
· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
· If Mike, Dave and Charlie go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Partner, Buddy and Bro.
EATING OUT
· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and Charlie will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators..
MONEY
· A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
· A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
· A woman has the last word in any argument.
· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the kitchen rubbish bin,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and
romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it
and to the men who will enjoy reading it.
Sep 20, 2013 11:36:40 #
men don't have "pms", we just get pissed off.
men don't have to hold on to every little slight until a 1/2 hr. after they die.
on a busy hi-way a man can go to the curb side of the car and take a piss instead of trying to hold it until the next rest area.
men don't have to hold on to every little slight until a 1/2 hr. after they die.
on a busy hi-way a man can go to the curb side of the car and take a piss instead of trying to hold it until the next rest area.
Sep 20, 2013 12:16:04 #
Sep 20, 2013 13:50:51 #
Absolutely fantastic, pipesgt!! I had to show my wife. Unimpressed, she said, "...and you still have to take out the garbage." The waffle iron just missed her as she retreated out the door.
Sep 20, 2013 22:25:57 #
pipesgt wrote:
WHY MEN ARE SELDOM DEPRESSED br br Men Are Just H... (show quote)
:lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:
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