flyguy
Loc: Las Cruces, New Mexico
Why Teachers Drink
The following questions were set in last years examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and theyWILL breed.. (scary)
Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)
Q.. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adult (So true)
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death
Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (wtf!)
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby
Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)
Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)
heyrob
Loc: Western Washington
Got some belly laughs out of this!
flyguy
Loc: Las Cruces, New Mexico
heyrob wrote:
Got some belly laughs out of this!
I did too --- glad you liked it!
These were from the final exam from John Hopkins - Right?
Bend over, take two aspirin,cough and send your next 3 pay checks, before taxes.(See I had medical training.) :) :-D :lol: :P :wink:
flyguy
Loc: Las Cruces, New Mexico
Photoman74 wrote:
These were from the final exam from John Hopkins - Right?
Bend over, take two aspirin,cough and send your next 3 pay checks, before taxes.(See I had medical training.) :) :-D :lol: :P :wink:
Sounds about right to me.
It would be funny if I thought it wasn't true but I'm sure it is
flyguy
Loc: Las Cruces, New Mexico
mwoods222 wrote:
It would be funny if I thought it wasn't true but I'm sure it is
Remember that truth is stranger than fiction. You have to be my age to connect with this --- it was a 1950's era TV show.
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