Embarrassing Medical Exams! Some old, some new!
Sep 1, 2013 05:23:01 #
At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patients anterior chest wall.
'Big breaths,' . . . I instructed.
'Yes, they used to be,' . . . replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes ,
Seattle , WA
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, ' How long have you been bedridden? '
After a look of complete confusion she answered,
'Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson-
Corvallis , OR
I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked ' So how's your breakfast this morning? ' 'It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste,' Bob replied.
I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced
A foil packet labeled ' KY Jelly. '
Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf ,
Detroit
A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room
when a young woman with purple hair styled
into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety
of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing,
entered .. . . It was quickly determined that
the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was
scheduled for immediate surgery. While she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair
had been dyed green and above it there was a tattoo that read . . . 'Keep off the grass. '
Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon
wrote a short note on the patients dressing,
which said 'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn. '
Submitted by RN, no name
AND FINALLY!! ! . . . . . . . . . . . . ... . ..
Dr. wouldn't submit his name...
1 MORE
Baby's First Doctor Visit
This made me laugh out loud.
I hope it will give you a smile!
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.
The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
'Breast-fed,' she replied.
'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.
She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'
'I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma,
But I'm glad I came! '
'Big breaths,' . . . I instructed.
'Yes, they used to be,' . . . replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes ,
Seattle , WA
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, ' How long have you been bedridden? '
After a look of complete confusion she answered,
'Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson-
Corvallis , OR
I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked ' So how's your breakfast this morning? ' 'It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste,' Bob replied.
I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced
A foil packet labeled ' KY Jelly. '
Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf ,
Detroit
A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room
when a young woman with purple hair styled
into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety
of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing,
entered .. . . It was quickly determined that
the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was
scheduled for immediate surgery. While she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair
had been dyed green and above it there was a tattoo that read . . . 'Keep off the grass. '
Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon
wrote a short note on the patients dressing,
which said 'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn. '
Submitted by RN, no name
AND FINALLY!! ! . . . . . . . . . . . . ... . ..
Dr. wouldn't submit his name...
1 MORE
Baby's First Doctor Visit
This made me laugh out loud.
I hope it will give you a smile!
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.
The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
'Breast-fed,' she replied.
'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.
She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'
'I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma,
But I'm glad I came! '
Sep 1, 2013 07:03:42 #
Sep 1, 2013 07:08:19 #
Sep 1, 2013 07:23:00 #
Sep 1, 2013 07:26:40 #
Sep 2, 2013 09:56:53 #
Sep 2, 2013 11:19:22 #
I had to let my wife, the nurse, read these. It was chuckle, chuckle, chuckle, chuckle, big laugh!!
Sep 2, 2013 11:49:44 #
Sep 2, 2013 17:15:00 #
Sep 2, 2013 17:15:33 #
Sep 2, 2013 17:16:33 #
Sep 2, 2013 17:25:26 #
Sep 2, 2013 17:31:14 #
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