Bunko.T Loc: Western Australia.

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin..'

- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
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I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'

- Eleanor Roosevelt
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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement..

- Mark Twain
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible

- George Burns
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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

- Victor Borge
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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

- Mark Twain
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By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

- Socrates
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

- Groucho Marx
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My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

- Jimmy Durante
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I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.

- Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.

- Alex Levine
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My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.

- Rodney Dangerfield
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Money can't buy you happiness.... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

- Spike Milligan
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Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP .

- Joe Namath
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I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.

- Bob Hope
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it..

- W. C. Fields
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We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

- Will Rogers
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Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

- Winston Churchill
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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty... But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out...

- Phyllis Diller
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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

- Billy Crystal
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And the cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good spit it out.
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May your troubles be less, may your blessings be more, and
may nothing but happiness come through your door.
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Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.

Wisdom is not using it in a fruit salad.

Racin17 Loc: Western Pa

Good way to start morning off....

sourdough58 Loc: Maine

excellent, thank you

fthomas Loc: Philippines

Great quotes to ponder!

Cornishpete Loc: Illinois

It is 5.30 in the morning here and the cup of coffee and your post has set me up for a great day. Thanks Bunko.

Doddy Loc: Barnard Castle-England

Wonderful.

SmittyOne Loc: California

I just stole the last six lines to use in my signature block in my emails. Love it!

HEART Loc: God's Country - COLORADO

George Carlin:

"Practice makes perfect. But why practice if no one is perfect?"

Wickspics Loc: Detroits Northwest Side. Cody High School.

Thank You, :)

Nikocarol Loc: NM & FL

Fun read..thanks for sharing.

infocus Loc: Australia

Thanks Bunko, I love those little "pearls of wisdom".
I have two for you from two of my favourite people.
Mark Twain: If you don't read newspapers your are uninformed. If you do read newspapers you are misinformed.
W.C. Fields: One should always carry a small flask in case of snake bite. Further more, one should also carry a small snake.

bygeorge Loc: Fl.<N.J.<Fl.

Thanks,i needed that.lol :thumbup:

Penny MG Loc: Fresno, Texas

Very nice for a morning chuckle! Thanks for sharing. :thumbup: