Obama clock: A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are those clocks?" St. Peter...

maccardi Loc: Western New York

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, "What are those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie Clock. Every time you tell a lie, the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man, "and whose clock is that?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his life."

"Where's President Obama's clock?" asked the man.
St. Peter said "Obama's clock is in Jesus's office, he's using it as a ceiling fan."

pounder35 Loc: "Southeast of Disorder"

maccardi wrote:

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in fron... (show quote)

Now that's funny! :thumbup:

Beowulf Loc: Aquidneck Island, RI

maccardi wrote:

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in fron... (show quote)

This joke has been on this site before. I shall repeat what I offered as an addition the last time it was here: Elsewhere, an angel was mowing heaven's Elysian Fields with the Bush/Cheney clocks.

alaskan

maccardi wrote:

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in fron... (show quote)

:thumbup:

lovesphotos Loc: Colorado and Arizona

I am sure this joke will be repeated with every president. Only the names will be changed. Nevertheless, it was funny.

psycyber9 Loc: Chicago

Great joke. Will have to pass that one around. Pretty much says the truth as well.

Sac-Jack Loc: Sacramento, Ca

Good one....Ahahahaha

Wellhiem Loc: Sunny England.

Speaking as an outsider looking in, I can tell you the only reason Obama got voted in for a second term was the opposition. Statements like "It's physicaly impossible for a woman to become pregnant through rape, unless she wanted to be raped" and "A woman who terminates a pregnancy by rape should get the same sentence as the rapist", are going to keep the democrates in power until you get rid of these fools.

alaskan

Wellhiem wrote:

Speaking as an outsider looking in, I can tell you the only reason Obama got voted in for a second term was the opposition. Statements like "It's physicaly impossible for a woman to become pregnant through rape, unless she wanted to be raped" and "A woman who terminates a pregnancy by rape should get the same sentence as the rapist", are going to keep the democrates in power until you get rid of these fools.

So if one Englishman says something stupid does it mean we consider all English people stupid????? I think I just found one.Too much sun in Sunny England and you forgot your hat?

Wellhiem Loc: Sunny England.

alaskan wrote:

So if one Englishman says something stupid does it mean we consider all English people stupid????? I think I just found one.Too much sun in Sunny England and you forgot your hat?

And your point is???

alaskan

Wellhiem wrote:

And your point is???

My point is you do not understand that a stupid statement by somebody(Republican,Democrat,whatever) cannot be applied to everybody else just because we are in the same country of political party.Any such moron speaks only for himself.So why are you blaming the whole Republican party/conservatives for a statement made by an idividual???? Do you have any clue how US electoral college works at all? Apparently no, popular vote does not mean that much in the US. US election is about 270 electoral college votes by 270 electors who do not have to follow the popular vote.

Wellhiem Loc: Sunny England.

alaskan wrote:

My point is you do not understand that a stupid st... (show quote)

My point is: They are speaking for you. They are doing it in your name. Disassociate them or you will be tarred with the same brush. I am not a great fan of Obama, but at the moment he's the best of two evils.

alaskan

Wellhiem wrote:

My point is: They are speaking for you. They are doing it in your name. Disassociate them or you will be tarred with the same brush. I am not a great fan of Obama, but at the moment he's the best of two evils.

No, idiots are not speaking for me,I speak for myself.By the same token I can say muslims who hacked up your soldier in "sunny England" speak and act for you.You`d better disassiociate them or you will be tarred with the same brush.Stupid statement??? Of course but that is how you see things.Stupid is as stupid goes.
Obama is the best of two evils???? What is the other evil may I ask? A successful businessman who understands you should not bankrupt the country etc.? Man, you have a twisted view of the whole US scenario....

jcs Loc: USA

Beowulf wrote:

This joke has been on this site before. I shall repeat what I offered as an addition the last time it was here: Elsewhere, an angel was mowing heaven's Elysian Fields with the Bush/Cheney clocks.

Bubba and Hillary's clocks turn so fast they can power a generator big enough to end the worlds energy crisis . Lol

Wellhiem Loc: Sunny England.

alaskan wrote:

No, idiots are not speaking for me,I speak for mys... (show quote)

The vast majority of muslims in this country have spoken out and said it was not done in my name. It's time that the republicans in the US stood up and said these idiots do not speak for me. As long as they are associate with the republican party Obama will not have any viable opposition. Don't get me wrong, I'm not supporting either party but I do believe that there should always be a strong opposition whoever's in charge.