Why I like Retirement.
Jul 19, 2013 21:43:14 #
Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1Sunday
When is a retiree's bedtime?
Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
There is not enough time to get everthing done.
Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?
Tied shoes.
Why do retirees count pennies?
They are the onlyones who have the time.
Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.
What do you do all week?
Monday through Friday, Nothing.......Saturday and Sunday, I rest.
SERENITY
I'VE SURE GOTTEN OLD!I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation. Cain't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But thank God, I still have my driver's license.
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, My memory's not as sharp as it use to be.
Its Scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.
ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS: YOU DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE YOU GROW OLD, YOU GROW OLD BECAUSE YOU STOP LAUGHING!
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1Sunday
When is a retiree's bedtime?
Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
There is not enough time to get everthing done.
Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?
Tied shoes.
Why do retirees count pennies?
They are the onlyones who have the time.
Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.
What do you do all week?
Monday through Friday, Nothing.......Saturday and Sunday, I rest.
SERENITY
I'VE SURE GOTTEN OLD!I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation. Cain't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But thank God, I still have my driver's license.
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, My memory's not as sharp as it use to be.
Its Scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.
ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS: YOU DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE YOU GROW OLD, YOU GROW OLD BECAUSE YOU STOP LAUGHING!
Jul 19, 2013 21:58:47 #
Jul 19, 2013 21:59:12 #
Jul 19, 2013 22:24:11 #
you said your hearing is failing and you can't hear anything louder than a jet engine....ask your doctor to prescribe for you some pills that will make you fart "LOUDER"
Jul 20, 2013 01:06:20 #
Jul 20, 2013 09:49:31 #
I love the line about the "Memory not being as sharp".
I also like the line about the "Memory not being as sharp" as well!!
I also like the line about the "Memory not being as sharp" as well!!
Jul 20, 2013 10:01:21 #
VHD-Tex wrote:
SERENITY
I'VE SURE GOTTEN OLD!I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation. Cain't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But thank God, I still have my driver's license.
SERENITY
I'VE SURE GOTTEN OLD!I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation. Cain't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But thank God, I still have my driver's license.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.
Jul 20, 2013 10:01:52 #
Doddy wrote:
I love the line about the "Memory not being as sharp".
I also like the line about the "Memory not being as sharp" as well!!
I also like the line about the "Memory not being as sharp" as well!!
:D
Jul 20, 2013 10:30:33 #
Doddy wrote:
I love the line about the "Memory not being as sharp".
I also like the line about the "Memory not being as sharp" as well!!
I also like the line about the "Memory not being as sharp" as well!!
Doddy-- Thats funny. Thats funny.
Jul 20, 2013 10:32:17 #
I
I agree.
PrairieSeasons wrote:
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.
I agree.
Jul 20, 2013 10:35:35 #
I just thought of another one. The greatest invention is not toilet paper or sliced bread.....its my "roller walker".
Jul 20, 2013 16:42:00 #
Being there. Doing that.
"Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?" Why bother, let your heirs do it. :thumbup:
"Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?" Why bother, let your heirs do it. :thumbup:
Jul 20, 2013 16:46:14 #
VHD-Tex wrote:
My being old and obsolete, did you say that you wipe with sliced bread? I just thought of another one. The greatest invention is not toilet paper or sliced bread.....its my "roller walker".
:shock:
Jul 20, 2013 17:30:12 #
magicray wrote:
My being old and obsolete, did you say that you wipe with sliced bread?
:shock:
:shock:
I left myself wide open for that one ...right. You gotta watch yourself on UHH ...right!
Jul 21, 2013 02:05:41 #
VHD-Tex wrote:
VHD...What kind of bird is that on your avatar? Very unusual and pretty.I left myself wide open for that one ...right. You gotta watch yourself on UHH ...right!
:thumbup:
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