sarge69 Loc: Ft Myers, FL

The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.


I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.


My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.


I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.


After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, “Screw it, soldier on!”


I woke up this morning at 8, and could smell something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald’s serves breakfast until 11:30.


Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the fair last night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.


The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"


My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!" "Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay?!"


A Catholic boy in confession says, "Bless me Father, I have sinned, I masturbated while thinking about my sister." "That's a disgrace," said the priest, "especially when you have two gorgeous brothers."


A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to this country so that they can see their own doctor.


I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.


Sarge69

GSQRD1 Loc: SAN ANTONIO, TX

Bad! Bad!

sarge69 Loc: Ft Myers, FL

I know. Great aren't they ?

Sarge69

Ridesthewind Loc: The West

I hope you are truly ashamed of yourself. Just when I was getting up a real head of steam laughing you quit writing.
Thanks a lot Sarge. All that and irreverent too. Shameful,just shameful.

sarge69 Loc: Ft Myers, FL

Glad it caught your attention.

Sarge69

magicray Loc: Tampa Bay, Florida

You da man! :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

Wabbit Loc: Arizona Desert

Ha,ha,ha,ha,

Steve M Loc: Chester, NS, Canada

Sarge: Thanks for the chuckle so early in the morning.

Steve

republican Loc: Glendora. Ca

your right good laugh.

viscountdriver Loc: East Kent UK

Great.

FRENCHY Loc: Stone Mountain , Ga

Magnifique !!!!

farnsworth52 Loc: W. Pa.

Well I have learned to move my coffee away from the keyboard when reading your stuff.Now I just need to remember to put the Depends on before and not after. Laughing hard at my age can be hazardous

Big Stopper Loc: London

Thanks Sarge, some good ones there. I'm going to take a "brave pill" and then show my wife. :lol:

4ellen4 Loc: GTA--Ontario

I hope that your wife has not read these!!or at least most of them!!!LOL good afternoon laugh
thanks Sarge

jimmya Loc: Phoenix

Oh Sarge... these are great... especially the McDonalds one.
Yes sir, "Soldier On".