Meives Loc: FORT LAUDERDALE

Condensed History Lesson
LESSON ONE: For those that don't know about history, here is a condensed version:
Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic
hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and
would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.
The two most important events in all of history were the invention of
beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the
beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the
catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals
2. Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of
agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so
while early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented,
they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while
they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the
Conservative movement....
Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the
conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQs and doing the sewing,
fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement..
Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. They became known
as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication
of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of
Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that the
Conservatives provided.
Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the
jackass for obvious reasons.
Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white
wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish
but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard
liberal fare.. Another interesting evolutionary side note: Most of their
women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social
workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and
group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule
because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud or Miller. They eat red meat
and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo
cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the
military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively.
Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work
for a living.
Liberals produce little. They prefer to govern the producers....and decide
what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more
enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in
Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the
Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get something for
nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history:
It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily
respond to the above before forwarding it.
A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of
this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers
and to more liberals just to piss them off.
And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self...
..I'm going to have another beer.

tramsey Loc: Texas

Well, that explains a lot of things. Is that stool next to you taken :thumbup: :thumbup:

maccardi Loc: Western New York

Love it!!! I couldn't agree more

tlbuljac Loc: Oklahoma

I'll drink to that....make it two drinks I'm conservative

Picdude Loc: Ohio

LOL!!! Almost spilled my Budweiser while reading this I was laughing so hard.

SHUTERED Loc: SO. CAL.

RIGHT ON!!! :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

heyrob Loc: Western Washington

I don't drink, but I'm posting to Facebook anyway! :-)

Bkh42 Loc: N.I. UK

LOL......No change there....

ole sarg Loc: south florida

Ah yes only the conservatives work!

Of course they enjoy all the policies of the non-workers or should I say true workers like the union men who fought for health insurance, five day work week, eight hour day, social security, medicare, etc.

Yes those great conservatives who in modern times yelled at the top of their lungs. Don't touch my medicare when complaining about big government!

What hypocraisy.

But, you want to live in your made up world and lie to yourselves. Go to it.

Screamin Scott Loc: Marshfield Wi, Baltimore Md, now Dallas Ga

Ah, yes, those Union organizers, whose first leader was a member of the Communist party. Oh, they later were controlled by the Mafia...Such true American heros !!!

maccardi Loc: Western New York

Why yes, I do believe your right!! As a matter of fact, isn't it those very same unions that are bankrupting every state in the country because of their greed and corruption???

Jblanke Loc: Metairie, LA

Demented

Jblanke Loc: Metairie, LA

"

Tramsey, "That stool next to you" is an elected official!!

PNagy Loc: Missouri City, Texas

This is typical right wing swill. When unions were at the peak of their power, the entire economy hummed. Now that unions have been busted down to insignificance with very low membership and virtually no ability to influence work conditions, they are bankrupting everything? How do you reconcile this insane comment with the record corporate profits at a time when the rest of the economy is in a depression?

travelwp Loc: New Jersey

This is true. Also true was that unemployment was low, everyone had jobs, big government didn't have trillion dollar stimulas packages that did very little good and devalued the dollar.