The Ultimate Scottish Joke
Jun 8, 2013 10:54:51 #
THE ULTIMATE SCOTTISH JOKE
A Scottish Soldier, in full dress uniform,
marches into a pharmacy.
Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana,
unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief, which he also unfolds -
to reveal a condom.
The condom has a number of patches on it.
The chemist holds it up and eyes it critically.
"How much to repair it?' The Scot asks the chemist.
"Six pence" says the chemist.
"How much for a new one?"
"Ten pence" says the chemist.
The Scot painstakingly folds the condom into the silk square handkerchief
and the cotton bandana, replaces it carefully in his sporran,and marches out of the door,
shoulders back and kilt swinging.
A moment or two later the chemist hears a great shout go up outside,
followed by an even greater shout.
The Scottish soldier marches back into the chemists
and addresses the proprietor, this time with a grin on his face.
"The regiment has taken a vote," he says.
We'll have a new one."
(My other half will kill me, She's from Glasgow ??)
A Scottish Soldier, in full dress uniform,
marches into a pharmacy.
Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana,
unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief, which he also unfolds -
to reveal a condom.
The condom has a number of patches on it.
The chemist holds it up and eyes it critically.
"How much to repair it?' The Scot asks the chemist.
"Six pence" says the chemist.
"How much for a new one?"
"Ten pence" says the chemist.
The Scot painstakingly folds the condom into the silk square handkerchief
and the cotton bandana, replaces it carefully in his sporran,and marches out of the door,
shoulders back and kilt swinging.
A moment or two later the chemist hears a great shout go up outside,
followed by an even greater shout.
The Scottish soldier marches back into the chemists
and addresses the proprietor, this time with a grin on his face.
"The regiment has taken a vote," he says.
We'll have a new one."
(My other half will kill me, She's from Glasgow ??)
Jun 8, 2013 11:03:43 #
Only took a minute to cut and paste that one for my friends.
Sarge69 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
Sarge69 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
Jun 8, 2013 13:41:39 #
Jun 8, 2013 13:57:55 #
tlbuljac wrote:
this one has been on here several times already...where have you been
I have not seen it and it is good. I like it and sent it to my friends.
Sarge69
PS: You've told me this on another joke. Let me tell you....I don't care if I've seen it before or if it's been here 100 times. I have not seen it. Thank you
Sarge69
Jun 8, 2013 17:53:34 #
Jun 8, 2013 18:51:11 #
Jun 8, 2013 22:12:39 #
And of course, here's The Scotsman, as heard on Dr. Demento.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65hOhj94ZGE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65hOhj94ZGE
Jun 9, 2013 05:56:27 #
gerry908
Loc: An Aussie from Scotland
sarge69 wrote:
I have not seen it and it is good. I like it and sent it to my friends.
Sarge69
PS: You've told me this on another joke. Let me tell you....I don't care if I've seen it before or if it's been here 100 times. I have not seen it. Thank you
Sarge69
Sarge69
PS: You've told me this on another joke. Let me tell you....I don't care if I've seen it before or if it's been here 100 times. I have not seen it. Thank you
Sarge69
I agree 100%
A good joke will remain forever. How many songs have you heard 1000's of times and never get sick of hearing them?.
Good jokes, songs, paintings and not to forget good photographs, will live forever, no matter how many times we see or hear them
Jun 9, 2013 06:51:15 #
Remus
Loc: Norfolk, UK
No, that is incorrect. My friend Hamish McSporran claims to know the ultimate Scottish joke. Unfortunately he is so mean that he won't share it with anyone.
Jun 9, 2013 07:11:31 #
Jun 9, 2013 08:24:00 #
gerry908
Loc: An Aussie from Scotland
Remus wrote:
No, that is incorrect. My friend Hamish McSporran claims to know the ultimate Scottish joke. Unfortunately he is so mean that he won't share it with anyone.
Och Remus, yer an affa laddie :lol: :lol: :lol:
Jun 9, 2013 13:55:05 #
jjwright71
Loc: Lubbock,Tx
sarge69 wrote:
I guess you (sarge69) and I arnt in the loop,i haven't seen it either nor the other one either the other dayI have not seen it and it is good. I like it and sent it to my friends.
Sarge69
PS: You've told me this on another joke. Let me tell you....I don't care if I've seen it before or if it's been here 100 times. I have not seen it. Thank you
Sarge69
Sarge69
PS: You've told me this on another joke. Let me tell you....I don't care if I've seen it before or if it's been here 100 times. I have not seen it. Thank you
Sarge69
Jun 9, 2013 14:23:55 #
Good un, but what's the difference between a Scotsman and a can of Coke....you can get a drink out of a can of Coke.
Jun 9, 2013 14:48:21 #
gerry908
Loc: An Aussie from Scotland
1066 wrote:
Good un, but what's the difference between a Scotsman and a can of Coke....you can get a drink out of a can of Coke.
Thats why I immigrated to Australia, to get away from you English:lol: :lol: :lol:
Jun 9, 2013 15:24:06 #
gerry908 wrote:
Thats why I immigrated to Australia, to get away from you English:lol: :lol: :lol:
There was no need to go to Australia Gerry, there's no English people in most of our big cities!!
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