Post a Joke!
Nov 21, 2011 12:38:20 #
Keep it clean enough so the admin doesn't axe the thread!
Whats the difference between a Lady and a Diplomat?
When a diplomat says yes he means may be.
When he says may be he means no.
When he says no he's no diplomat.
When a Lady says no she means may be.
When she says may be she means yes.
When she says yes she's no lady.
Whats the difference between a Lady and a Diplomat?
When a diplomat says yes he means may be.
When he says may be he means no.
When he says no he's no diplomat.
When a Lady says no she means may be.
When she says may be she means yes.
When she says yes she's no lady.
Nov 21, 2011 12:49:40 #
A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily.
So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.
The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun...."I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5.00. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00," he says.
This catches the senior's attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?"
The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it's the senior's turn. He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"
The lawyer uses his laptop to search all references he can find on the Net.
He sends E-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.
He wakes the senior and hands him $500.00. The senior pockets the $500.00 and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"
The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
You know you're going to send this one on.
Don't mess with seniors!
The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily.
So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.
The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun...."I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5.00. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00," he says.
This catches the senior's attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?"
The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it's the senior's turn. He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"
The lawyer uses his laptop to search all references he can find on the Net.
He sends E-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.
He wakes the senior and hands him $500.00. The senior pockets the $500.00 and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"
The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
You know you're going to send this one on.
Don't mess with seniors!
Nov 21, 2011 14:01:09 #
Funny one there tiger. Of course riddles could make this thread hard to follow so: A cop is walking down the street. As he passes a small building with only one door as an entrance and no windows he hears "No John, don't shoot" foloowed by a gun shot. he burst through the dooor to find a lawyer, a doctor and a priest standing over a dead body and the gun on the floor. he immediatley arrest the priest. Why?
Nov 21, 2011 14:07:16 #
Nov 21, 2011 14:10:18 #
Researchers have found that the leading cause of prison riots is Hockey games... Inmates get worked up when they realize some guy just got 5 minutes for the same thing he's serving 2-3 years for.
Nov 21, 2011 15:03:11 #
emrob62 wrote:
Funny one there tiger. Of course riddles could make this thread hard to follow so: A cop is walking down the street. As he passes a small building with only one door as an entrance and no windows he hears "No John, don't shoot" foloowed by a gun shot. he burst through the dooor to find a lawyer, a doctor and a priest standing over a dead body and the gun on the floor. he immediatley arrest the priest. Why?
It was a glass building, he saw the priest shoot the gun
Nov 21, 2011 15:05:30 #
Nov 22, 2011 05:44:54 #
There are two reasons why one should not drink toilet water...............#1,#2.
Nov 22, 2011 05:51:20 #
The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University .. Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 45 years of age cannot do it!
1.This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fart cat.
9. This is busy cat.
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat.
12. This is seconds cat.
Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down.
1.This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fart cat.
9. This is busy cat.
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat.
12. This is seconds cat.
Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down.
Nov 22, 2011 07:15:55 #
Rucko wrote:
this was on the bumper of a show car at old town,fl.
Henny young man (?)
I wanted to get something for my wife but no one would start the bidding!
Nov 22, 2011 08:40:10 #
Why can't you take a photo of a man with a wooden leg in North Dakota?
Nov 22, 2011 09:02:30 #
photosbyhenry wrote:
Why can't you take a photo of a man with a wooden leg in North Dakota?
You need a camera to take photos.
Photos taken with a wooden leg would come out much too grainy
Nov 22, 2011 09:32:27 #
fawlty128 wrote:
You need a camera to take photos.
Photos taken with a wooden leg would come out much too grainy
photosbyhenry wrote:
Why can't you take a photo of a man with a wooden leg in North Dakota?
You need a camera to take photos.
Photos taken with a wooden leg would come out much too grainy
That didnt take very long. Nice response.
Nov 22, 2011 09:53:06 #
emrob62 wrote:
Funny one there tiger. Of course riddles could make this thread hard to follow so: A cop is walking down the street. As he passes a small building with only one door as an entrance and no windows he hears "No John, don't shoot" foloowed by a gun shot. he burst through the dooor to find a lawyer, a doctor and a priest standing over a dead body and the gun on the floor. he immediatley arrest the priest. Why?
The doctor & lawyer are both women.
Nov 22, 2011 10:03:10 #
Way to go ticToc, hope you didn't get help from a feminist. Most people don't get there that quick due to stereotypical thinking. For your prize tell the family you get dibs on the drumsticks on Thursday
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