St3v3M Loc: 35,000 feet

Linda From Maine has graciously volunteered her WPC 1315 - Government entry for critique and analysis to find out what she could have done to make it better. Be nice, but be honest as this will help everyone with their craft. Thank you Linda From Maine and thank you everyone!

from WPC 1315 - Government http://www.uglyhedgehog.com/photo_contest.jsp?pcnum=54

"County Jail." A free society requires that people pay a penalty for disobeying the laws.

Linda From Maine Loc: Yakima, Washington

Here are two others I considered.

riverlass Loc: northern California

I find these photos very interesting. I love the reality of them.
I find it hard to focus through a chain link fences. I appreciate that you have the building and the fence in focus. I know that this is my lack of "manual" skills and something I need to learn.
I like the third one a lot. The barbed wire looks like it says OMG(Oh my God)and looks like it is written across the top of the fence. These photos are the stark reality of the penal system. Great subject.

St3v3M Loc: 35,000 feet

I'm heading out to shoot some photos, but thought I would take a minute to share my thoughts.

While I like the incredibly sharp detail of the photo and the rich blue of the sky I am lost without a reference to the challenge theme. Without the strong title the photo could be restrictive fencing for an oil field, military installation or your basic storage facility. I am lost. What Story Are You Trying To Tell? It says stay out, but does it say county jail?

On another note however, I like the angularity of how this was taken rather than straight on like so many others are shown. It gives a sense of depth and draws you along the lines rather than slamming you into them and leaving you there. I would like however to have seen more of the fence and less of the sky. If there were clouds or a dramatic color then by all means leave it as it is, but without out I am drawn more to the negative space of the sky than to the point of interest of the fence.

There is a story told about Howard Hughes where he shot a film of fighter planes in the sky, but during editing had to scrap it allit. Without clouds the planes had no point of reference and looked like toys in the sky. Again notice - The Story Told. Is it the fence or the sky?

Our eyes are instinctively drawn towards movement, bright objects, things in focus, anything out of the ordinary then everything else. Take a quick look again and notice where you look first. A tip I was taught long ago that has helped me is to look at your photo from several feet away and evaluate it. Make it full screen on your computer then get up and stand all the way across the room and look at it. What do you see? Where did you look first? Is the layout appealing? Does it 'feel' right? (This works for anything you print)

Of the two extras you submitted I would have chosen the second. The first confuses me with line of the fence and the line of the jail falling in the same plane. The second though is something different! The left fence post was placed on the same edge as the building while the top of the fence and the top of the building are wonderfully at different angles. Add to that the blue of the sky clipped by the frame and you have created a reverse Z. My eye is drawn there first and with the slit windows I understand this is a place to hide things from the rest. The right fence post frames the image and closes it without being obvious. I know the story here without needing to read a title. This photo spells danger!

I am sure there is more to say and hope otherwise will join in to express their opinions too, but mostly I want to say thank you for volunteering your entry to scrutiny. I hope it helps! Steve

Linda From Maine Loc: Yakima, Washington

Thanks so much riverlass for taking the time to comment. The OMG is a bit eerie, I must say!

Linda From Maine Loc: Yakima, Washington

Steve, what an amazingly valuable critique! Thank you so much for taking the time to write all this. I will print it and review and remember. Awesome!

The only thing I wouldn't change about the composition of #1 is the ratio of sky to fence. I tend to really like negative space. Gotta be me :)

St3v3M Loc: 35,000 feet

When it comes down to it that is what really matters!

R.G. Loc: Scotland

I would agree with that verdict. Too many people are used to seeing similar fencing round all sorts of properties. On its own, the picture doesn't say "prison" strongly enough. Did you get a shot that included the prison's front gates? That may have made a clearer statement.

On the plus side, what a brilliant statement to be making. In a free society, freedom is something that can be taken from you as a form of punishment. Social freedoms require protection in the form of deterrents, and the loss of freedom is used as such a deterrent.

Linda From Maine Loc: Yakima, Washington

Thank you R.G. I do understand now how it needed to be more easily identifiable.

raymondh Loc: Walker, MI

I would try a wide angle lens with a shallow DOF, focusing closely on a barb of the wire.

Bamboo Loc: South Carolina

This is one that I entered in a previous contest. I thought at the time that eliminating color would focus more on the shapes and lines. Apparently it still lacked much interest.

UP-2-IT Loc: RED STICK, LA

Wrong forum

Linda From Maine Loc: Yakima, Washington

Something to try next time. Thanks!

Linda From Maine Loc: Yakima, Washington

I like it.

St3v3M Loc: 35,000 feet

Where else do you ask for photo analysis?