sarge69 Loc: Ft Myers, FL

This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one.

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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says, 'Can't find printer.' I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it.

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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK!

Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.

Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.

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Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.

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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer...
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first email.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?

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This one and the next are our personalfavorites!

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'

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And last but not least!

Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'

Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: 'P'......on your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

Yupper - I know most of them

Sarge69

Penny MG Loc: Fresno, Texas

Oh so good! Thanks for the chuckles!

GummyToo Loc: Eastern Massachusetts

Good ones! Remember this old one?

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Customer: The cup holder on my computer is broken. How do I get a new one?

Tech Support: Cup Holder?

Customer: Yeah, you know -- that thing that pops out on the right side when you push the button.