Humor is better than bitching.
Mar 1, 2013 04:48:44 #
I get on extremely well with the lesbians next door. They asked me what I would like for my birthday.
I was stunned when they gave me a Rolex.
It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, "I wanna watch."
Why is it when your wife becomes pregnant, all her female friends rub her tummy and say "congratulations"
but none of them rub your dick and say "well done"?
Honestly some folk will take offence at anything.
I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop and all I asked was "How are you getting on?"
Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby "Is this yours?" she asked.
"Probably." said Paddy "She burns everything else!"
My missus has just gone into hospital with two black eyes and a broken jaw.
It seems we were on different wavelengths when she said she wanted decking on the patio.
Sex therapist claim that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!! Personally I think its bollocks!!
They reckon that Beer contains female hormones and I think they are right. After 8 pints I talk shit and can't drive!
Whats the difference between Basil Brush and a Terrorist with a rucksack?
The Terrorist with a rucksack only goes "Boom" once.
Vicar booking into a hotel asks the receptionist "Is the Porn channel in my room disabled?"
"No," she replies "it's just regular porn you sick bastard."
A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin.
I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a moustache!"
A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems.
"Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor.
"Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair."
I was stunned when they gave me a Rolex.
It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, "I wanna watch."
Why is it when your wife becomes pregnant, all her female friends rub her tummy and say "congratulations"
but none of them rub your dick and say "well done"?
Honestly some folk will take offence at anything.
I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop and all I asked was "How are you getting on?"
Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby "Is this yours?" she asked.
"Probably." said Paddy "She burns everything else!"
My missus has just gone into hospital with two black eyes and a broken jaw.
It seems we were on different wavelengths when she said she wanted decking on the patio.
Sex therapist claim that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!! Personally I think its bollocks!!
They reckon that Beer contains female hormones and I think they are right. After 8 pints I talk shit and can't drive!
Whats the difference between Basil Brush and a Terrorist with a rucksack?
The Terrorist with a rucksack only goes "Boom" once.
Vicar booking into a hotel asks the receptionist "Is the Porn channel in my room disabled?"
"No," she replies "it's just regular porn you sick bastard."
A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin.
I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a moustache!"
A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems.
"Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor.
"Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair."
Mar 1, 2013 04:55:18 #
Thanks Bungo, I just laughed midway through drinking my coffee and its gone right up my nose. You really wanted to know that didn't you???
Bunko.T wrote:
I get on extremely well with the lesbians next doo... (show quote)
Mar 1, 2013 06:26:35 #
Mar 1, 2013 08:16:42 #
Bunko.T wrote:
I get on extremely well with the lesbians next doo... (show quote)
Very Funny! Thanks for the chuckles!
Mar 2, 2013 09:52:39 #
Mar 7, 2013 20:29:14 #
They reckon that Beer contains female hormones and I think they are right. After 8 pints I talk shit and can't drive!
ROFL.
Ironically my mother drove more skillfully and faster than every
body I know... except for one other, some race car drivers and of course myself.
ROFL.
Ironically my mother drove more skillfully and faster than every
body I know... except for one other, some race car drivers and of course myself.
Mar 7, 2013 21:28:14 #
It's really nice to see something on Chit-Chat that is truly humerious and not political hate mail.
Thanks
Thanks
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