This handy advice was posted on Facebook by our family veterinarian, who also happens to be my cousin's wife.



How To Give A Cat A Pill



1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand... As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.


7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later...


8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.



How To Give A Dog A Pill

1. Wrap it in bacon.

Sugaring is the term used by those who tap the trees for maple sap this time of year. As with all things change has come to the way the trees are tapped.
Anyone who has gathered sap in buckets knows how hard a job that can be. Depending on the sugar content of the sap it can take about forty gallons of
sap to make one gallon of maple syrup. So plastic lines connected to a holding tank is now the preferred way to collect maple sap. But even then it installing
the lines and making sure they are clean is not light work. The sugar house runs on the heat to boil down the sap which means you need to decide to use
oil or wood to fire up the flash pans that evaporate the water in the sap. The price of that is debated by those who make the choice. Maple syrup comes in
various grades of taste and color but one thing is for sure it is not table syrup. For about sixty dollars a gallon it is costly but not like computer printer ink
which is in the cost stratosphere. There is no state law about serving table syrup instead of the real thing in Vermont restaurants. If you don't order the stuff
from the trees you are labeled a "Flatlander". So the bottom line if you wish to photograph the gathering of maple sap in buckets you had better start now before they are all gone.

Several years ago, when my brother was still renting, he and I flew in in an Archer. Quite an experience!! To see long lines of planes following the railroad tracks from Rippon was amazing...and ATC...what job they do every year (e.g. "red Cessna, rock your wings. Follow the Stearman and land on the orange dot."). Now my brother is a co-owner in a 182 and living in TN. I'm driving up this year. A few years ago someone posted a sat pic of the complex. I found my tent in Camp Scholler and he found his plane in the North 40. We were about 2 miles apart!