Skypilot wrote:
Funerals are really not for the dead...funerals are for the living. Those who are close to you need some kind of closure and an opportunity to grieve....and perhaps in the process receive some degree of comfort from others. Or it may be that you have no family or friends that will grieve your passing.....then the gathering can take on a more celebratory air.
You are right on! The funeral or whatever celebration that happens is for those who remain to deal with their grief or in some cases celebration. It is one last very selfish act for the one who has passed to try and dictate how those who loved him/her should celebrate. Some people need the support of others, some can just quietly celebrate their loss alone. As a retired hospital chaplain who has been with hundreds of families at the time of death my advice to the next of kin has always been "you need to do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself."