Heard she couldn’t bathe for 3 days prior and had to plug her nose and ears for the shoot.

Went to google to find out approximately how many people die in the USA monthly. In 2019. On average about one quarter of a million people die A month. So putting Covid in the mix’s would put a slight bump in those figures. Just saying.

With all the turmoil in the market today this might be some good advice. For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.

Watch for these consolidations later on this year:

1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W R. Grace Co. will merge and become:
Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.

3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.

4.) Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.

5.) FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.

6.) Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.

7.) Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants.

8.) Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW.

And finally...
9.) Victoria's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name: TittyTittyBangBang.

Happy Birthday 🎂🎂🎂🍺🍺🎂🎂🎂

If I can make one person smile or laugh it made my day!

There is not one dirty word in it, so don t fret.

The Smiths were unable to conceive
children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a
door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to..'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the photographer.
'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'

'Well that's what my husband and I had
hoped. Please come in and have a seat !'

After a moment she asked, blushing,
'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try
two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to
take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith
quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed,
grasping at her throat.

'And
these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'

'She
was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.

'Yes, I'm afraid so.
I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look.'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith,
her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

Mrs.
Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I
need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'
Mrs. Smith
fainted.

I thought Costco had one very similar to that one.

Nice picture! I have had honorable mention and came in second place in our county’s photo club that I belong too, normally 500+ photos are to be judge bye 3 professional photographer. I do own a Nikon D7500 that I also use. Phones are best in close up, and street scenes. Both awards were with my IPhone.

Very funny!

Also known as a assassin fly! Catches it prey in flight.

What I own now! 2015 corvette Z51. 32.3 mpg if babied. Motor Trend Mag. says it will do 190 mph

Great shot! Food must be good.

Wow! There living the American dream that I want!

Dwayne

What great shots! Thanks for sharing your approach on how you got these shots.