Ugly Hedgehog - Photography Forum
Home Active Topics Newest Pictures Search Login Register
General Chit-Chat (non-photography talk)
Oldie but good joke. Sorry if it offends anyone.
Page <prev 2 of 2
Mar 19, 2017 11:32:39   #
jaymatt Loc: Alexandria, Indiana
 
cdayton wrote:
Since the cannibal theme has been brought up, have you heard the one about the cannibal who passed his brother in the jungle?
{Apologies in advance}


No, but I get it.

Reply
Mar 19, 2017 11:34:09   #
jaymatt Loc: Alexandria, Indiana
 
Reinaldokool wrote:
I find humor that puts down any religion as distasteful. The atheist religion, no different. Atheism is as good a religion as any and equally deserving of respect. I write as a follower of Jesus, not an atheist, but have many atheist friends whom I admire.


I imagine that even God likes a good joke. At least mine does.

Reply
Mar 19, 2017 11:40:50   #
oregon don
 
I did not see that coming

Reply
 
 
Mar 19, 2017 12:05:43   #
DSLR Loc: NV
 
Reinaldokool wrote:
I find humor that puts down any religion as distasteful. The atheist religion, no different. Atheism is as good a religion as any and equally deserving of respect. I write as a follower of Jesus, not an atheist, but have many atheist friends whom I admire.


FYI - The Oxford Dictionaries:

Religion – NOUN – The belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, especially a personal God or gods.

Atheist – NOUN – A person who disbelieves or lacks belief in the existence of God or gods.

Reply
Mar 19, 2017 12:41:29   #
Bultaco Loc: Aiken, SC
 
DSLR wrote:
FYI - The Oxford Dictionaries:

Religion – NOUN – The belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, especially a personal God or gods.

Atheist – NOUN – A person who disbelieves or lacks belief in the existence of God or gods.



Reply
Mar 19, 2017 13:22:50   #
BBurns Loc: South Bay, California
 
[Since the cannibal theme has been brought up,...]
Two cannibal gents sitting around the fire after finishing a good meal, one says to the other,

'Your wife sure makes a good stew!"

Reply
Mar 19, 2017 15:10:43   #
bcheary Loc: Jacksonville, FL
 
crafterwantabe wrote:
ATHEIST IN THE WOODS
An atheist was walking through the woods.
'What majestic trees!
'What powerful rivers !
'What beautiful animals!
He said to himself.
Suddenly, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look .... . . and saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
________________________________________
He ran as fast as he could along the path.
He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing on him ....
He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer .... and then .... He tripped and fell.
Rolling over to pick himself up, he found the bear was right on top of him .........
reaching towards him with its left paw ..... and raising the right paw to strike ...
________________________________________
At that instant the Atheist cried out,
'Oh my God!'
Time Stopped ...
The bear froze ......
The forest was silent ....
A bright light shone upon the man,
and a voice came out of the sky ...
"You deny my existence for all these years,
you teach others I don't exist
and even credit creation to cosmic accident ........
Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?"
"Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light ....
"It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now ...
but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?"
... a pause ...

"Very well," said the voice ...
The light went out.
The sounds of the forest resumed ....
the bear dropped his right arm ...
brought both paws together ...
bowed his head & spoke...
________________________________________
"Lord, bless this food,
which I am about to receive.
Amen."
ATHEIST IN THE WOODS br An atheist was walking th... (show quote)


Still funny.

Reply
 
 
Mar 19, 2017 15:31:29   #
piaffe_passage Loc: Westport, MA
 
crafterwantabe wrote:
ATHEIST IN THE WOODS
An atheist was walking through the woods.
'What majestic trees!
'What powerful rivers !
'What beautiful animals!
He said to himself.
Suddenly, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look .... . . and saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
________________________________________
He ran as fast as he could along the path.
He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing on him ....
He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer .... and then .... He tripped and fell.
Rolling over to pick himself up, he found the bear was right on top of him .........
reaching towards him with its left paw ..... and raising the right paw to strike ...
________________________________________
At that instant the Atheist cried out,
'Oh my God!'
Time Stopped ...
The bear froze ......
The forest was silent ....
A bright light shone upon the man,
and a voice came out of the sky ...
"You deny my existence for all these years,
you teach others I don't exist
and even credit creation to cosmic accident ........
Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?"
"Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light ....
"It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now ...
but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?"
... a pause ...

"Very well," said the voice ...
The light went out.
The sounds of the forest resumed ....
the bear dropped his right arm ...
brought both paws together ...
bowed his head & spoke...
________________________________________
"Lord, bless this food,
which I am about to receive.
Amen."
ATHEIST IN THE WOODS br An atheist was walking th... (show quote)


Thank you for making me laugh!! My father was a minister and he would have loved this joke too!!

Reply
Mar 19, 2017 21:14:36   #
crafterwantabe Loc: Mn
 
I'm glad a lot of you have enjoyed this joke! I posted one the other day about an elderly golfer hope you all read that one too. 👍

Reply
Mar 19, 2017 22:14:03   #
BamaTexan Loc: Deep in the heart of Texas
 
Reinaldokool wrote:
I find humor that puts down any religion as distasteful. The atheist religion, no different. Atheism is as good a religion as any and equally deserving of respect. I write as a follower of Jesus, not an atheist, but have many atheist friends whom I admire.



Then I suggest that you should not partake of jokes of this nature.

Reply
Mar 22, 2017 13:10:39   #
DickC Loc: NE Washington state
 

Reply
Page <prev 2 of 2
If you want to reply, then register here. Registration is free and your account is created instantly, so you can post right away.
General Chit-Chat (non-photography talk)
UglyHedgehog.com - Forum
Copyright 2011-2024 Ugly Hedgehog, Inc.