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For Those Who Love the Philosophy of Ambiguity
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Jul 19, 2022 06:27:18   #
rlv567 Loc: Baguio City, Philippines
 
Wallen wrote:
In hunting, a season is the time of the year where some animals are allowed to be hunted/harvested.
So there is duck season for hunting ducks, deer season for hunting deer etc.

I's implying that tourist season should be a time for shooting the tourists.

A play on words similar to:
If vegetarians eats vegetables,
Humanitarians eat humans?



That should do it!

Loren - in Beautiful Baguio City

Reply
Jul 19, 2022 07:57:55   #
Stephan G
 
JoAnneK01 wrote:
FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH: 
 
1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA ..... FLOOR.
 
2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
 
3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
 
4. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.
 
5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, “WHERE’S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?” SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
 
6. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
 
7. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
 
8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
 
9. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
 
10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO “GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?”
 
11. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
 
12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
 
13. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
 
14. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL BREAK IN AND CLEAN THEM?
 
15. IF A TURTLE DOESN’T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
 
16. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
 
17. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
 
18. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?
 
19. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?
 
20. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
 
21. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
 
22. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?
(This one took me a minute)
 
23. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?
 
24. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
 
25. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
 
26. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
 
27. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
 
28. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?
 
29. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED “HEMORRHOIDS” INSTEAD OF “ASSTEROIDS?”
 
30. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN’T SHOOT AT THEM?
 
31. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
 
32. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED?
 
33. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?
FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS... (show quote)


#3 - So they can laugh at the failed evolutions.

#17 - The police give them miming rights.

#32 - Their compasses need to be taken away first.

#33 - Deists' insurance against Acts of God is called Plenary Indulgence.

Reply
Jul 19, 2022 09:12:10   #
Bubbee Loc: Aventura, Florida
 
Wallen wrote:
In hunting, a season is the time of the year where some animals are allowed to be hunted/harvested.
So there is duck season for hunting ducks, deer season for hunting deer etc.

I's implying that tourist season should be a time for shooting the tourists.

A play on words similar to:
If vegetarians eats vegetables,
Humanitarians eat humans?


Thank you so much for the explanation; however with all the awful gun violence we're experiencing, can't say I like that one!

Reply
 
 
Jul 19, 2022 09:15:39   #
Dannj
 
Wallen wrote:
There is no Taxi on a taxiway, only airplanes,

and no one is allowed to run on a runway.


But a model could walk on a runway😳

Reply
Jul 19, 2022 09:27:22   #
koratcat
 
Bubbee wrote:
Love them all, but don't get 30 re tourist season...???


Because the year round residents of tourist towns (at least the ones around here) say their favorite holiday is Labor Day because that's when the tourists go home. :)

Reply
Jul 19, 2022 09:36:44   #
jederick Loc: Northern Utah
 

Reply
Jul 19, 2022 10:01:05   #
Najataagihe
 
Bubbee wrote:
Thank you so much for the explanation; however with all the awful gun violence we're experiencing, can't say I like that one!

I cannot believe you never watched Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck…

Reply
 
 
Jul 19, 2022 10:21:44   #
Stephan G
 
Najataagihe wrote:
I cannot believe you never watched Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck…


I would say that the "Hunting" is relatively harmless. It is the treeing and shooting the target that is the problem.

In cartoons, there is the Acme Co. black hole escape trick usually available. Plus, the weapons used are generally single/double shots. And that occasional boxing glove. (Also, black powder guns.)

My advice to would be mass shooters, et al.: Check your weapon down the barrel with a round in chamber and pulling the trigger. To make certain that it will work. (The same insurance applies as for the guarantee that matches have been tested for ignition before use.)

Reply
Jul 19, 2022 10:22:24   #
Abo
 
Grump's Photos wrote:
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

Why do you drive on a parkway, and park on a walkway?

Andy


It's been legal to park motorcycles on the footpath in Melbourne (Victoria Australia)
since Cocky was an egg. (Cockatoos have very long life spans)

Reply
Jul 19, 2022 10:27:36   #
Stephan G
 
Abo wrote:
It's been legal to park motorcycles on the footpath in Melbourne (Victoria Australia)
since Cocky was an egg. (Cockatoos have very long life spans)


Many motorcycles are equipped with foot stands. (I know, some of them are "Kick" stands.)

Reply
Jul 19, 2022 10:52:45   #
foodie65
 
Wallen wrote:
Out here they have expiry dates on salt and vinegar.


And water

Reply
 
 
Jul 19, 2022 11:02:51   #
Fredrick Loc: Former NYC, now San Francisco Bay Area
 
JoAnneK01 wrote:
FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH: 
 
1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA ..... FLOOR.
 
2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
 
3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
 
4. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.
 
5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, “WHERE’S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?” SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
 
6. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
 
7. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
 
8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
 
9. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
 
10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO “GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?”
 
11. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
 
12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
 
13. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
 
14. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL BREAK IN AND CLEAN THEM?
 
15. IF A TURTLE DOESN’T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
 
16. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
 
17. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
 
18. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?
 
19. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?
 
20. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
 
21. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
 
22. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?
(This one took me a minute)
 
23. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?
 
24. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
 
25. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
 
26. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
 
27. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
 
28. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?
 
29. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED “HEMORRHOIDS” INSTEAD OF “ASSTEROIDS?”
 
30. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN’T SHOOT AT THEM?
 
31. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
 
32. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED?
 
33. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?
FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS... (show quote)

These were wonderful. Thanks!

Reply
Jul 19, 2022 12:48:53   #
Bubbee Loc: Aventura, Florida
 
Najataagihe wrote:
I cannot believe you never watched Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck…


Not lately....since I'm 90! But hopefully, I will soon, with my new Great-Grandson!

Reply
Jul 19, 2022 12:58:56   #
BBurns Loc: South Bay, California
 
Love the list!

34. Why do they put an expiration date on Buttermilk?
So they know when to move it to the Cottage Cheese Section!

Reply
Jul 19, 2022 13:07:46   #
rlv567 Loc: Baguio City, Philippines
 
BBurns wrote:
Love the list!

34. Why do they put an expiration date on Buttermilk?
So they know when to move it to the Cottage Cheese Section!



I absolutely love both buttermilk and cottage cheese; unfortunately, neither one is available in the Philippines (and there's a dearth of dairy products in general - I found people here who don't even know what a dairy is!!!)

Loren - in Beautiful Baguio City

Reply
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