The two most important events in all of
history were the invention of beer and the
invention of the wheel

Beer required grain and that was the
beginning of agriculture.

Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can
were invented yet, so while our early humans
were sitting around waiting for them to be
invented, they just stayed close to the
brewery. That's how villages were formed.

The wheel was invented to get man to the
beer and vice versa. These two were the
foundation of modern civilization and
together were the catalyst for the splitting
of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals.
2. Conservatives.

Some men spent their days tracking and
killing animals to BBQ at night while they
were drinking beer. This was the beginning
of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were less skilled at hunting
(called /'vegetarians'/ which was an early
human word meaning /'bad hunter') /learned
to live off the Conservatives by showing up
for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing,
fetching, and hairdressing. This was the
beginning of the liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men “evolved” into
women. Others became known as girlie-men.
Some noteworthy liberal achievements include
the domestication of cats, the invention of
group therapy, group hugs, and the concept
of democratic voting to decide how to divide
the meat and beer that Conservatives provided.

Over the years Conservatives came to be
symbolized by the largest, most powerful
land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals
are symbolized by the jackass for obvious
reasons.

Modern Liberals like special flavored beer
(with lime added), but most prefer white
wine spritzers or imported bottled water.
They eat raw fish but like their beef well
done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are
standard liberal fare. Another interesting
evolutionary side note: many liberal women
have higher testosterone levels than their men.

Most college professors, social workers,
personal injury attorneys, journalists, film
makers in Hollywood, group therapists and
community organizers are liberals. Liberals
meddled in our national pastime and invented
the designated hitter rule because it wasn't
fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink real beer. They eat red
meat and still provide for their women.
Conservatives are members of the military,
big game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen,
medical doctors, police officers, engineers,
corporate executives, athletes, airline
pilots, and generally anyone who works
productively. Conservatives who own
companies hire other Conservatives who want
to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They
like to govern the producers and decide what
to do with the production. Liberals believe
Europeans are more enlightened than
Americans. That is why most of the liberals
remained in Europe when Conservatives were
coming to America. They crept in after the
Wild West was tamed and created a business
of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history.
It should be noted that a liberal may have a
momentary urge to angrily respond to this post.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so
convinced of the absolute truth of this
history that it will be shared immediately
to other true believers and to just piss-off
more liberals.

And there you have it. Let your next action
reveal your true self, I'm going to grab a
few beers and grill some steaks! Right after
I forward this!!!

The two most important events in all of
history were the invention of beer and the
invention of the wheel

Beer required grain and that was the
beginning of agriculture.

Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can
were invented yet, so while our early humans
were sitting around waiting for them to be
invented, they just stayed close to the
brewery. That's how villages were formed.

The wheel was invented to get man to the
beer and vice versa. These two were the
foundation of modern civilization and
together were the catalyst for the splitting
of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals.
2. Conservatives.

Some men spent their days tracking and
killing animals to BBQ at night while they
were drinking beer. This was the beginning
of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were less skilled at hunting
(called /'vegetarians'/ which was an early
human word meaning /'bad hunter') /learned
to live off the Conservatives by showing up
for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing,
fetching, and hairdressing. This was the
beginning of the liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men “evolved” into
women. Others became known as girlie-men.
Some noteworthy liberal achievements include
the domestication of cats, the invention of
group therapy, group hugs, and the concept
of democratic voting to decide how to divide
the meat and beer that Conservatives provided.

Over the years Conservatives came to be
symbolized by the largest, most powerful
land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals
are symbolized by the jackass for obvious
reasons.

Modern Liberals like special flavored beer
(with lime added), but most prefer white
wine spritzers or imported bottled water.
They eat raw fish but like their beef well
done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are
standard liberal fare. Another interesting
evolutionary side note: many liberal women
have higher testosterone levels than their men.

Most college professors, social workers,
personal injury attorneys, journalists, film
makers in Hollywood, group therapists and
community organizers are liberals. Liberals
meddled in our national pastime and invented
the designated hitter rule because it wasn't
fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink real beer. They eat red
meat and still provide for their women.
Conservatives are members of the military,
big game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen,
medical doctors, police officers, engineers,
corporate executives, athletes, airline
pilots, and generally anyone who works
productively. Conservatives who own
companies hire other Conservatives who want
to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They
like to govern the producers and decide what
to do with the production. Liberals believe
Europeans are more enlightened than
Americans. That is why most of the liberals
remained in Europe when Conservatives were
coming to America. They crept in after the
Wild West was tamed and created a business
of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history.
It should be noted that a liberal may have a
momentary urge to angrily respond to this post.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so
convinced of the absolute truth of this
history that it will be shared immediately
to other true believers and to just piss-off
more liberals.

And there you have it. Let your next action
reveal your true self, I'm going to grab a
few beers and grill some steaks! Right after
I forward this!!!

I am a Liberal; I don't like lime in my beer, I like Bud. Don't like wine or fish of any kind. I not into French's cooking of any kind. If you known your history ( which I don't think you do.) you would known that French's cooking is really Italian cooking. Look up Catherine Medicide. America can't be too enlightened if it had Trump for four years. A man name Thomas Nash, who was cartoonish for one of the New York City's newspapers back in the 1860s and 1870s tag the Republican Party with the elephant and tag the Democratic with donkey . I own a firearm( at one time had more) and I never have any use for the NRA.