The first time I saw the man who would save the world he was sitting near the central well in Nazareth with a lizard hanging out of his mouth. Just the tail end and the hind legs were visible on the outside; the head and forelegs were halfway down the hatch. He was six, like me, and his beard had not come in fully, so he didn’t look much like the pictures you’ve seen of him. His eyes were like dark honey, and they smiled at me out of a mop of blue-black curls that framed his face. There was a light older than Moses in those eyes.

“Unclean! Unclean!” I screamed, pointing at the boy, so my mother would see that I knew the Law, but she ignored me, as did all the other mothers who were filling their jars at the well.

The boy took the lizard from his mouth and handed it to his younger brother, who sat beside him in the sand. The younger boy played with the lizard for a while, teasing it until it reared its little head as if to bite, then he picked up a rock and mashed the creature’s head. Bewildered, he pushed the dead lizard around in the sand, and once assured that it wasn’t going anywhere on its own, he picked it up and handed it back to his older brother.

Into his mouth went the lizard, and before I could accuse, out it came again, squirming and alive and ready to bite once again. He handed it back to his younger brother, who smote it mightily with the rock, starting or ending the whole process again.

I watched the lizard die three more times before I said, “I want to do that too.”

The Savior removed the lizard from his mouth and said, “Which part?”

Disgusted with God's plan for Judgment Day, Satan has quit his job and abandoned Hell in favor of a quiet retirement in Washington, D.C. But life on Earth is tricky for an ex-angel with a short fuse and no impulse control. When a parking attendant mysteriously bursts into flames and a weight-challenged woman somehow ends up in low-Earth orbit, Satan finds that he has attracted the attention of several meddlesome federal agencies. Even worse, there are signs that the governor of Texas has somehow gone ahead and started up the end of the world without him.

The Prince of Darkness heads for the Lone Star State, where he tangles with a megalomaniacal televangelist, joins the Militant Arm of the American Geriatrics Association, and wields the Flaming Shotgun of Divine Justice at a guy whose hobbies include invading churches to denounce ritualized cannibalism. Through it all, one thing is clear: Someone has to put a stop to Judgment Day. Now, having spent millennia trying to wreck the place, the Devil may be the world's only hope.

The most important book ever written! Whether youʹre a Christian or a Jew, a Muslim or a Hindu, a Rasta or a Jain, an Environmentalist or a Cheondoist, a Scientologist or a Giant Stone Head Worshipper, your religion is false. In this long-awaited book, Joel Grus reveals the details of not only how your religion is false but also how every other religion is false. When you want to know what not to believe, this is the only book you need. In addition, youʹll learn * Why ʺgodʺ doesnʹt exist * Why thereʹs no such thing as a ʺsoulʺ * How to find ʺmeaningʺ in a religion-less world * Which of your religious heroes are pedophiles * Why ʺreligious toleranceʺ is a terrible idea And, as a bonus, the greatest religious joke ever told. You canʹt afford not to read this book!

It takes a certain oddness of mind to read and enjoy Christopher Moore, but he is one of the funniest guys writing today.

My book club is reading his latest, Sacré Bleu: A Comedy d'Art and, knowing their taste, the reception to the book will be... um... interesting.

Fortunately, I didn't recommend it to the club. My last recommendation, Spook: Science Tackles the Afterlife by Mary Roach didn't go over well. Light fiction and light science is not what they're looking for.