In the spirit of Peace & Kindness
Dec 23, 2017 08:52:07 #
Dec 23, 2017 08:54:48 #
It's not just here- it's everywhere! Sarcasm and negativity reign supreme. Just look at comments after any political article! My mouth just hangs open reading the venom that people are spewing out. Here on UHH it is an accepted practice to belittle and denigrate. I just shrug my shoulders and move on thinking that it's a shame that this site isn't monitored closer. I hope that those guilty of this behavior read Roni's post and take it to heart with a change in attitude in 2018.
Dec 23, 2017 09:07:58 #
It is a nice thought and there have been many other members suggesting the same.
before chat rooms and forums - people interacted face to face. They may know or have contact with a dozen people at work, another dozen socially and maybe even their neighbours. People often behave differently in different situations. What is acceptable on a building site isn't in church etc.Polite to your neighbour, but not too personal (or not).
Chat rooms are beyond the social constraints of face to face conversation (I grew up in an era when NO-ONE swore in front of a female even in the roughest of bars and if they did - it was grounds to punch or evict them) However, there is little censorship on the PC And many reasons why there shouldn't be. There is no way to teach people manners on-line. Looking at the problems associated with facebook and children is proof that society needs to grow a thicker skin...(Words without actions or threats do not hurt. Conversations from a stranger are meaningless at best, and should be taken with cautiion always) There are 'rules of self preservation to learn and accept.
I spent a lot of years in catering. Alcohol makes people lose their inhibitions and act totally out of character. Which is why we have guidlines about allowing children into bars and most people only take their family into known restaurants etc. You navigate your physical world to where you feel safe or feel secure in 'acting out'. The internet is NOT the same. It is a totally alien environment where anything goes!
Friends and collegues are physical people - some you like and some you put up with and some you walk around. You have few friends and collegues on the internet...Having a bit of a barney with your friends might change their attitude towards what they say and do in front of you - Not on the internet!
"Its not FAIR" you might say - and how many times have you and your children said this?
Life isn't fair....and each of us has to navigate it as best we can.
I would use another catering aphorism....if you can't stand the heat then get out of the kitchen.
If we start to censor The internet, we cut down on choice. We lose too much available information. We allow government and 'do gooder's' to censour what we have access to. Is this what you want?
People are constrained generally because they have to be..when people don't feel constrained 'anything' goes
Which is good 'when you want it' and totally out of order 'when used against you'.
Sorry!
before chat rooms and forums - people interacted face to face. They may know or have contact with a dozen people at work, another dozen socially and maybe even their neighbours. People often behave differently in different situations. What is acceptable on a building site isn't in church etc.Polite to your neighbour, but not too personal (or not).
Chat rooms are beyond the social constraints of face to face conversation (I grew up in an era when NO-ONE swore in front of a female even in the roughest of bars and if they did - it was grounds to punch or evict them) However, there is little censorship on the PC And many reasons why there shouldn't be. There is no way to teach people manners on-line. Looking at the problems associated with facebook and children is proof that society needs to grow a thicker skin...(Words without actions or threats do not hurt. Conversations from a stranger are meaningless at best, and should be taken with cautiion always) There are 'rules of self preservation to learn and accept.
I spent a lot of years in catering. Alcohol makes people lose their inhibitions and act totally out of character. Which is why we have guidlines about allowing children into bars and most people only take their family into known restaurants etc. You navigate your physical world to where you feel safe or feel secure in 'acting out'. The internet is NOT the same. It is a totally alien environment where anything goes!
Friends and collegues are physical people - some you like and some you put up with and some you walk around. You have few friends and collegues on the internet...Having a bit of a barney with your friends might change their attitude towards what they say and do in front of you - Not on the internet!
"Its not FAIR" you might say - and how many times have you and your children said this?
Life isn't fair....and each of us has to navigate it as best we can.
I would use another catering aphorism....if you can't stand the heat then get out of the kitchen.
If we start to censor The internet, we cut down on choice. We lose too much available information. We allow government and 'do gooder's' to censour what we have access to. Is this what you want?
People are constrained generally because they have to be..when people don't feel constrained 'anything' goes
Which is good 'when you want it' and totally out of order 'when used against you'.
Sorry!
Dec 23, 2017 09:08:40 #
ronichas wrote:
I am a long time photographer. I was the organizer... (show quote)
Ronichas,
I agree wholeheartedly!
Some crotchety old farts need to be blocked because they are too old to change.
I think they are very sad, and being hypercritical and abusive of others is the only interaction they choose.
Some folks don't know how to phrase their Google search to get the answers they need and have trouble filtering the good info. from the bad and after all, isn't that what a photography forum is for to help and share?
Happy Holidays to All!
Dec 23, 2017 09:21:35 #
Well, ronichas, the world is full of sad, lonely, persons who have no hope of a better life in their own future, and their main source of pleasure is to try to bring others down to their level; to ruin someone else's day. These public sites afford them the opportunities to show/do their worst anonymously. This site and others will never be rid of them. So, just ignore.
Dec 23, 2017 09:23:48 #
Wanderer2
Loc: Colorado Rocky Mountains
The lack of civility and respect for others on this, and other, forums has also bothered me. It seems to me that the internet has fostered this to some degree because we are not communicating verbally and face to face. It's easier to be nasty to someone when they can't see you and directly respond. In the rough, tough logging country of NW Washinton state where I grew up if you said something to someone like some things that are "said" on an internet forum you had better have your fists up and be read to fight!! However, to me the basic reason to be civil and respectful is the Golden Rule and it also seems to me that respect for this basic principle for living (at least to me it is that) has dwindled in our society generally. I think the best way to deal with insults, rudeness and nastiness on the internet is simply to not respond. Than avoids propagating the process and reduces the motivation the rude person has for doing it as they seem to take pleasure in "stirring things up," so to speak. As an old expression goes, "silence can be deafening," and another phrase also applies, "A soft answer turns away wrath" (paraphrasing the Bible).
Thank you to the OP for starting this thread. It's a good time of year to reflect on the human values of kindness, respect, and helpfulness for each other. One of the basic reasons for the existence of forums such as this should be to be helpful to each other.
Thank you to the OP for starting this thread. It's a good time of year to reflect on the human values of kindness, respect, and helpfulness for each other. One of the basic reasons for the existence of forums such as this should be to be helpful to each other.
Dec 23, 2017 09:32:56 #
Teton Viewer wrote:
The lack of civility and respect for others on this, and other, forums has also bothered me. It seems to me that the internet has fostered this to some degree because we are not communicating verbally and face to face. It's easier to be nasty to someone when they can't see you and directly respond.
.....
.....
I wonder if they talk the same way to their friends in person. (If they have any.)
Dec 23, 2017 09:33:26 #
Dec 23, 2017 09:33:36 #
I work with middle school kids and I see the results of meanness and bullying. We teach the kids kindness and what their words can do to other people. You don't know what that person's life is like, and your words can be the last straw to some kids. There is so much teen suicide now due to bullying and meanness. So while it may be too late for some adults, hopefully we can teach our children kindness and patience and respect. My kids have had an impact on their school doing kind acts...a news station even picked it up (which I told the kids is nice, but we don't do kind things for recognition). And they have more things planned for the school year. They are hoping to make a difference in someone's life. I think it's something we should all strive to do. Thanks to all the kind people on this forum who have given me great advice and many laughs. Happy New Year!
Dec 23, 2017 09:37:12 #
aschweik
"Thanks to all the kind people on this forum who have given me great advice and many laughs. Happy New Year!"
Beautifully said. With all the stories about bullying & meanness, I would expect the people on this site to take that into account,
when they want to post something negative.
While I understand, many will not pay attention to this, I hope it brings a strong message to some to just be kind.
"Thanks to all the kind people on this forum who have given me great advice and many laughs. Happy New Year!"
Beautifully said. With all the stories about bullying & meanness, I would expect the people on this site to take that into account,
when they want to post something negative.
While I understand, many will not pay attention to this, I hope it brings a strong message to some to just be kind.
Dec 23, 2017 10:17:48 #
AZNikon
Loc: Mesa, AZ
ronichas wrote:
If you don't have something nice to say, don't post anything. We all share a love of photography, lets be kind to one another, be helpful, or don't help at all. Wishing all a Healthy & Happy Holiday.
The Golden Rule still rules! Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me...
Dec 23, 2017 10:30:14 #
and a Merry Christmas/Happy Chanukah and a Happy New Year!
Dec 23, 2017 10:30:30 #
Thanks for saying that. Wishing you a very wonderful Holiday Season.
Mark
ronichas wrote:
I am a long time photographer. I was the organizer... (show quote)
Dec 23, 2017 10:33:00 #
ronichas wrote:
I am a long time photographer. I was the organizer... (show quote)
I could not agree with you more! There are some folks here who feel they must be curt, rude, short, or otherwise inject their opposing opinions in ways that are not helpful nor necessary. I'm not sure why some people (and you're right, it's mostly men) have to come across like that. My guess is they have low self-esteem and being a chest-thumping bully somehow validates their sense of manhood. Frankly it is one of the things that is a bit of a turn off about, not just this forum, but many forums. By contrast, I recently joined a community where I had to pay to be a member and that community insists that members treat each other respectfully. I support your request: If you don't have something nice to say, don't post anything.
Dec 23, 2017 10:45:17 #
Basil wrote:
I could not agree with you more! There are some fo... (show quote)
PS: I have been running an online discussion forum for 17 years related to a different hobby. When I started it, I established reasonable rules of decorum that are strictly enforced. It is a private forum and membership is at the pleasure of the management (me). Once people realize we are serious about expecting people to be courteous and respectful, they tend to behave. I can tell you that the vast majority of my members appreciate this fact and I have had very few incidents of people blatantly breaking the rules - those that have didn't last long. Also, we ask people to keep their posts focused on the hobby and check their politics at the door. As a result, we have over 18,000 members of every imaginable political and ideological stripe and we all get along swimmingly.
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