mdorn Loc: Portland, OR

That's been my experience as well. I do monitor calibration at least once per month, and my monitor is brighter regardless what setting I make it. The only other control I have is with the print shop... I can opt for an "auto correction" (done by the print shop), or I can bump up my exposure a bit before uploading to print. Either way, it's not ideal and it varies from image to image.

Delderby Loc: Derby UK

Have you found any difference in the variation depending on the paper (make and / or type) that you use? :)

Apaflo Loc: Anchorage, Alaska

You either have the brightness of the monitor too high, or the gamma isn't right. The calibration process should measure the brightness and tell you what it is. As previously noted, 80-90 cd/m2 is what works best. Then you can set the calibration to use a color temperature of perhaps 5500K, and a gamma of perhaps 2.4. Don't just use the defaults (probably 6500K or higher and gamma 2.2) or it will be too bright and too blue.

Note that laptop screens and some of the less expensive LCD monitors can be very hard (or impossible) to calibrate. But any of the LCD monitors commonly recommended for photo editing will do relatively well.