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Posts for: Orson Burleigh
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Aug 24, 2020 10:12:11   #
markngolf wrote:
My friend, who is a grammarian, sent this to me.

Enjoy,
Mark

An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.


A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

Two quotation marks walk into a "bar".

A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

A question mark walks into a bar?

A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out”, we don't serve your type."

A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

A synonym strolls into a tavern.

At the end of the day, a cliche walks into a bar as”fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

A dyslexic walks into a bra.

A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.


A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

”Jill Thomas Doyle"
My friend, who is a grammarian, sent this to me. ... (show quote)


Alas, we sigh for days of yore
when all your words were truest lore
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Aug 24, 2020 00:55:48   #
rehess wrote:
Huh??


Puns won't protect us from COVID, but they'll help to keep the bats out of the belfry.
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Aug 23, 2020 23:53:06   #
CHG_CANON wrote:
I believe it was the ancient Greek Archimedes who realized that when you fill a bath of water and let a 24MP DSLR sink below the surface, the volume of water displaced is the total number of dots the camera can print. This instance of photographic insight is now known as the Eureka moment.


In this sad Archimedean discovery can be seen the dawn of a brighter, cash-free future. The ‘Eureka’ scene can be set thus:
A ‘photographer’, one who is severely afflicted with G.A.S., cries out to his patient loving wife: “Oh, good Rekha, wife of my heart, dearest one. Alas, our faithful Rebel, T6i, is no more. Its pentamirror has darkened. The five short years of its life have burbled away.”
“Since our only son has so firmly rejected our plan for him to obtain a Double E (Electrical Engineering degree), choosing instead to take up with a roving theatre group, we must dedicate our carefully hoarded educational fund to the adoption of an EOS R5 and some few, appropriate, RF lenses, as a memorial to T6i, our faithful Rebel. Good Rekha, dearest wife, मेरा दिल, this we must do.”
*All named characters are products of the imagination. Any coincidental resemblance to specific persons, living or dead, is categorically denied.
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Aug 23, 2020 22:42:30   #
BrentHarder wrote:
Thanks Orson for the three smiley faces and quivering smile!


The persistent proficient practice of paronomasia may not be an effective prophylactic protection against Corona viruses, but paronomasia surely prolongs the preclusion of Alzheimers among puissant punning paronomasiacs.
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Aug 23, 2020 14:36:37   #
CHG_CANON wrote:
I believe it was the ancient Greek Archimedes who realized that when you fill a bath of water and let a 24MP DSLR sink below the surface, the volume of water displaced is the total number of dots the camera can print. This instance of photographic insight is now known as the Eureka moment.


Ahh... A fleeting flash of the most memorable bubbly bokeh
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Aug 23, 2020 14:21:56   #
BrentHarder wrote:
This is just a little funny.......


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Aug 23, 2020 14:02:21   #
Julian wrote:
Need to be more specific: linear inch or square inch?


Wait a minute We've been hearing that photosites (a.k.a pixels) are like buckets. If pixels/photosites are like buckets, then they have inherent depth. A measure of volume is therefore necessary. Whether we use cubic-centimeters, cubic inches or cubic nano-futzes is macht nichts: the depth must be accounted for!
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Aug 16, 2020 05:53:05   #
LWW wrote:
Uterque gratias agens vestrum.

Ut semper bona est scire secunda lingua.


Quia utilis saepe inveniamus in luce fores et in coemeteriis servanda.
The memory of Caesar's hurling of his troops across the flumen river is still a wee bit embarrassing.
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Aug 14, 2020 18:48:34   #
Tom DePuy wrote:
An Amish drive-by


Remington 7600, colloquially known as the 'Amish machine-gun.'


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Aug 6, 2020 16:31:42   #
Dannj wrote:
So, what happens to us?


If we’re really lucky, that thirty or forty years went by in a flash and we finally retired and get to spend the entire day together - every day, all week.
Though actually perusing the photographs shows that the camera now sees her to be a tiny sun-burnt seventy-something little old lady, my eyes have somehow never made the same adjustment.


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Aug 6, 2020 15:06:21   #
BBurns wrote:
Someone left a card on my porch that said,

“For Help, call Jesus” and a phone number.

I called it and some guy named Hey-Zeus answered.
He wanted to mow my lawn.


हे ज़ीउस (Hey-Zeus).
Wow! That use of the vocative form is almost never seen
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Aug 5, 2020 08:04:20   #
Cany143 wrote:
Then there's also the 'Schrödinger's Cat' proposition. But that's about cats (of course), not boxes, so it might not infinitely apply.

Considering your initial question, though, it might be more useful to stick with whatever Pandora's Matryoshka Box syndrome you may be encountering. Bet its something software related....


Pandora's Matryoshka Box syndrome, as PMB syndrome or as PMBS, has real promise. The inspiring concept might well under-gird promising lines of post-graduate research and development in engineering (adamantinely hard subject), software development (medium hard subject), economics (fundamentally fuzzy subject), theoretical anthropology (crunchy subject), political science (subjective subject) or psychology (a subject with multiple personalities). Doctorates will be available for everyone except Engineers. Engineers don’t need no stinkin’ PhDs.
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Aug 5, 2020 07:25:39   #
jerryc41 wrote:
I had no idea what this was all about until I used Google.


Symbolic, perhaps, of the sometimes out-sized historical ambitions of the House of Oldenburg. (I also had to resort to google: the identification Claes Oldenburg's father as a Swedish diplomat led to the Treaty of Kalmar - House of Oldenburg connection)
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Aug 1, 2020 15:56:24   #
John_F wrote:
When I am asked to say cheese, I say either Provolone or Meunster.


Go Emmentaler for that youthful wholesome gap-toothed smile
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Jul 26, 2020 15:26:16   #
usnret wrote:
State Farm reduced my Silverado insurance premium by about 25%, said it was because COVID-19 meant fewer on drivers on the road. I'm all good with that. Just wondered if other insurers are doing the same?


Allstate has provided three small refunds in April, May and June.
I filled the VW's fuel tank in March, it now shows just above half
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