DirtFarmer wrote:
1. As soon as you start arguing, take off your shirt to distract her with your greek god body:
When the phrase "greek god body" is presented, you are supposed to think about Heracles, the greatest of greek heroes and the strongest man on earth. At my age, that is not the appropriate greek god to think about. Maybe Dionysus, god of wine, ritual madness, religious ecstasy and theatre. Statues of him are pretty good looking but that doesn't seem reasonable for someone who drinks a lot of wine. Taking off my shirt would produce giggles more than anything else.
2. Use cold, hard reason meticulously explained and re-explained:
That assumes you could start to speak. (Maybe the shirt-removing giggles might give you an opening).
3. Ask her if she's on her period:
Again, our age takes care of that.
4. Helpfully suggest she calm down:
See answer to #2.
5. Make an excel spreadsheet so you can follow the argument better:
Given the convolution of the usual argument, it would take hours to code a spreadsheet to follow it.
6. Remind her that the thing she just said sounds like something her mother would say:
Her mother speaks only Chinese. If I did that she would continue the argument in Chinese and I wouldn't have a clue.
7. Threaten to boycott mowing the lawn:
The lawn guy takes care of that and she pays for it.
8. Bring in all the kids and ask them to vote on who is right:
The kids live half a continent away so the airfare would break the bank.
In the end, "Yes, Dear" (or possibly "親愛的") is the most effective and cheapest way to resolve the argument.
1. As soon as you start arguing, take off your shi... (
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Still smiling and chuckling over your rebuttal answers.