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For my pal, Graham
Feb 27, 2018 06:36:51   #
brobill Loc: Fort Worth, Texas ( Haslet)
 
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender takes a look at him and asks,” Why the long face, pal?”

Bartender hears a knock at the door. Opening door he sees a snail and kicks him into the parking lot shouting ,”We don’t serve snails here!”
Six month later he hears a knock and opens the door. The snail is back and asks,” Why did you do that to me, mister?”

And the greatest twisted humor in history....
A man has a dog with no legs. He loves this poor pooch and walks him in a wagon every day.
A new neighbor sees them and trying to make conversation asks the dog’s name.
He doesn’t have a name replied the dog owner.
The neighbor is stunned saying all dogs have names. Why didn’t you give him a name?
The answer... are you ready?
“He wouldn’t come if I called him!”

Reply
Feb 27, 2018 06:59:41   #
fourg1b2006 Loc: Long Island New York
 
Thanks for the humor.

Reply
Feb 27, 2018 07:01:15   #
brobill Loc: Fort Worth, Texas ( Haslet)
 
Good to begin the day with a chuckle/ maybe even a chortle.

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Feb 27, 2018 08:05:47   #
donrosshill Loc: Delaware & Florida
 
I am 83 now, it has always been my desire to wake up with a smile and go to bed with a good laff.

Thanks for keeping me healthy.
Don

Reply
Feb 27, 2018 08:06:28   #
jaymatt Loc: Alexandria, Indiana
 
My first morning chuckle.

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Feb 27, 2018 08:06:44   #
brobill Loc: Fort Worth, Texas ( Haslet)
 
Thanks, Don

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Feb 28, 2018 07:49:09   #
Dannj
 
A blind man is waiting to cross the street. As his guide dog leads him into the street a truck comes barreling down the street and only the quick action of the driver prevents a disaster.
The man continues across the street and upon reaching the safety of the opposite corner he reaches into his pocket for a treat and procedes to feed it to the dog. "Excuse me, sir" says I "but why are you rewarding your dog? He nearly got you killed!"
"Rewarding him?" he says. "I'm just trying to find out which end his mouth is so I can kick him in the arse!"

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Feb 28, 2018 10:42:38   #
fhadfield
 
From a dog lover, that's bad!

Reply
Feb 28, 2018 10:54:50   #
Dannj
 
fhadfield wrote:
From a dog lover, that's bad!

My apologies!
No offense intended but I think someone might be offended by any joke I know☹️

Reply
Feb 28, 2018 11:05:14   #
fhadfield
 
I was kidding. Keep them coming.

Reply
Feb 28, 2018 13:42:42   #
Paladin48 Loc: Orlando
 
brobill wrote:
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender takes a look at him and asks,” Why the long face, pal?”

Bartender hears a knock at the door. Opening door he sees a snail and kicks him into the parking lot shouting ,”We don’t serve snails here!”
Six month later he hears a knock and opens the door. The snail is back and asks,” Why did you do that to me, mister?”

And the greatest twisted humor in history....
A man has a dog with no legs. He loves this poor pooch and walks him in a wagon every day.
A new neighbor sees them and trying to make conversation asks the dog’s name.
He doesn’t have a name replied the dog owner.
The neighbor is stunned saying all dogs have names. Why didn’t you give him a name?
The answer... are you ready?
“He wouldn’t come if I called him!”
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender takes a lo... (show quote)


Ba-DUMP-CCHHH!!!

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Feb 28, 2018 17:44:23   #
Quaking Aspen Loc: Cottage Grove, OR
 
Rene Descartes walks into a bar and orders a drink. When he finishes his drink, the bartender asks him if he'd like another. Descartes replies "I think not." and he disappears!

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Mar 1, 2018 12:04:04   #
fhadfield
 
WHAT????

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