papajacknow20 Loc: Glasgow Scotland

Maybe you Scots could explain this to your non Scottish friends

Oan takin’ a hunner fur Facebook an’ postin’ when pished).

Oh my Goad, am feelin’ great;
Aff tae the dance flair tae gyrate.
Oor kitchen’s lookin’ like a sea
Of glam an’ glitter.
Am clingin’ tae ma bevvy ticht
In case a slitter.

Sippin’ oan ma rum an’ juice;
A must admit, am feelin’ loose,
And dinnae wahnt tae hink aboot
The morra’s heid.
A pray an’ hope ah’ll be jist fine
Efter a feed.

Am lookin’ smashin; whit a stunner!
A drain ma gless doon in a wunner
An’ noo a really feel the need
Tae stert the show;
Grabbin’ ma wee phone fur snaps;
We’re gid tae go.

A summon aw ma lassies through
An’ switch the camera tae front view;
An staun’ an’ gee ma ginger loacks
A soart and fix.
We huddle roon’ an’ wait tae hear
The fast wee clicks.

A shuffle roon’ an’ change ma stance;
We dae some shoats an’ huv a dance,
A feel ma face is braw enough
Fur its ane shoot.
A stagger up and git a pal;
Am pished, nae doot.

Then in the moarn we congregate
An’ wae deep breaths we face oor fate,
An’ try tae fin’ oot whit the Hell
We hink wint oan.
A drag ma erse oot of ma pit
An’ check ma phone.

But then wan photie gee’s me fright;
There must jist no huv bin gid light.
“Git that oaf; ah look like shite!”
Ah flap an’ plead.
But a ken there’s jist nae point;
It’s oan “News Feed”.

There’s mare oanline, a look sae silly;
Am staunin’ wae a blow-up wullie,
Ma cross-eyed heid is gazin’
Intae time an’ space.
Aw shite, ah cannae quite believe
This fine disgrace.

A scrabble tae git them awa’
But hawf ma freens huv seen them aw,
An’ noo a wish a hudnae been
Sae bloody steamin’.
Here come the comments fae ma maw;
Ma cheeks are beamin’.

SueScott Loc: Hammondsville, Ohio

Happy Burns Night!

Brucej67 Loc: Cary, NC

Do you pipe it in.

BobHartung Loc: Bettendorf, IA

Haven't a clue what you wrote. And I always though the Scots could speak English.

EdJ0307 Loc: out west someplace

That's why I gave up on it after the first couple sentences.

SueScott Loc: Hammondsville, Ohio

We have a Sunday school teacher at our church who came over from Glasgow in 1953 - you should hear her recite the 23rd Psalm in Scots! Her class of elementary age students love it!

chippy

Marvellous.........I laughed til I cried

Merlin1300 Loc: New England, But Now & Forever SoTX

Ahh couldna undrstand it - till I'd many a rum an juice
Then the meanin came clar, as it ran dun me sluice