Idle Friday Thoughts.....
The speed with which a woman says, "Nothing" when asked what's wrong, is inversely proportional to the severity of the shit storm that's coming.
The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe, before you start looking like a mental patient.
My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me.
My 60-year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I'm worried about the 195 pounds I've gained.
I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters.Do they just give you a big bra and say, "Here, fill this out"?
Denny's has a slogan: 'If it's your birthday, the meal is on us.' If you're in Denny's and it's your birthday, your life sucks!
On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week; whereas, a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year. This is upsetting news to me – I had no idea I was Japanese.
I can't understand why women are okay that J.C. Penney has an older women's clothing line named "Sag Harbor."
What is it about a car that makes people think we can't see them pick their nose?
When I die, I want to be reincarnated as a spider so I can finally hear a woman say, " Oh, my God, it's huge."