The Darwin awards.
Sep 9, 2013 18:45:58 #
The
Darwins Are Out!!!!
2013 Yes,
it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed,
honoring the least evolved among us.
Here
Is The Glorious Winner:
1.
When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a
hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something
that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the
trigger again. This time it worked.
And
Now, The Honorable Mentions:
2.
The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine
and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance
company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a
look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's
claim was approved.
3.
A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a
blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the
space. Understandably, he shot her.
4.
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found
that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare
to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver
went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He
then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that
the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The
deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5.
An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds
received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries,
the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get
his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6..
A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and
asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a
gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20
bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15.
[If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime
committed?]
7.
Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd
just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze,
and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the
window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the
head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8.
As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her
purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to
give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police
apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the
store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a
positive ID. To which he replied, Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady
I stole the purse from."
9.
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger
King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The
clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register
without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they
weren't available for breakfast... The frustrated gunman walked away. [*A
5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10.
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a
Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for.
Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a
motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man
admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into
the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined
to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had and the
perp had been punished enough!
In
the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and
family.... unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant
relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and
hope they remain lost.
*****Remember*****
They walk among us, they can reproduce and worst of all they VOTE!!.
Darwins Are Out!!!!
2013 Yes,
it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed,
honoring the least evolved among us.
Here
Is The Glorious Winner:
1.
When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a
hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something
that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the
trigger again. This time it worked.
And
Now, The Honorable Mentions:
2.
The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine
and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance
company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a
look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's
claim was approved.
3.
A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a
blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the
space. Understandably, he shot her.
4.
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found
that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare
to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver
went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He
then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that
the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The
deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5.
An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds
received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries,
the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get
his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6..
A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and
asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a
gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20
bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15.
[If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime
committed?]
7.
Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd
just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze,
and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the
window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the
head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8.
As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her
purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to
give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police
apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the
store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a
positive ID. To which he replied, Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady
I stole the purse from."
9.
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger
King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The
clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register
without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they
weren't available for breakfast... The frustrated gunman walked away. [*A
5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10.
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a
Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for.
Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a
motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man
admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into
the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined
to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had and the
perp had been punished enough!
In
the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and
family.... unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant
relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and
hope they remain lost.
*****Remember*****
They walk among us, they can reproduce and worst of all they VOTE!!.
Sep 9, 2013 19:31:08 #
Thanks, Mullumby...once again my belief that mankind can conquer just about any challenge has taken a swift kick in the shins!!
Sep 9, 2013 20:54:14 #
This is actually the list from the 2005 Darwin Awards, of which Snopes says only one is verifiably true, most are made up.
Sep 9, 2013 23:33:29 #
Sep 9, 2013 23:45:14 #
tschmath wrote:
This is actually the list from the 2005 Darwin Awards, of which Snopes says only one is verifiably true, most are made up.
OK, tschmath, don't keep us in suspense!!! So which one was true??
Sep 9, 2013 23:46:57 #
venturer9
Loc: Newton, Il.
OH MY LORD if it ain't the "PHOTOSHOPPED" bandit it is the "SNOPES" Wizard....
Sep 10, 2013 00:14:56 #
SteveR wrote:
OK, tschmath, don't keep us in suspense!!! So which one was true??
#5, about the kid getting hit by the train, is the only verifiable one in the whole list, according to Snopes
Sep 10, 2013 10:09:29 #
ottopj
Loc: Annapolis, MD USA
According to snopes.com, this list first came out in 2005 and were listed as one real, some unknown and some fictitious. # 5 seems to be real.
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