Riding a Horse
Aug 12, 2013 17:21:51 #
Riding a Horse
Stage 1. Fall off pony. Bounce. Laugh. Climb back on. Repeat.
Stage 2. Fall off horse. Run after horse, cussing. Climb back on by shimmying up horses neck. Ride until sundown.
Stage 3. Fall off horse. Use sleeve of shirt to stanch bleeding. Have friend help you get back on horse. Take two Advil and apply ice packs when you get home. Ride next day.
State 4. Fall off horse. Refuse advice to call ambulance; drive self to urgent care clinic. Entertain nursing staff with tales of previous daredevil stunts on horseback. Back to riding before cast comes off.
Stage 5. Fall off horse. Temporarily forget name of horse and name of husband/wife. Flirt shamelessly with paramedics when they arrive. Spend week in hospital while titanium pins are screwed in place. Start riding again before doctor gives official okay.
Stage 6. Fall off horse. Fail to see any humor when hunky/gorgeous paramedic says, You again? Gain firsthand knowledge of advances in medical technology thanks to stint in ICU. Convince self that permanent limp isnt that noticeable. Promise husband/wife youll give up riding. One week later purchase older, slower, shorter horse.
Stage 7. Slip off horse. Relieved when artificial joints and implanted medical devices seem unaffected. Tell husband/wife that scrapes and bruises are due to gardening accident. Pretend you dont see husband/wife roll eyes and mutter as he/she walks away. Give horse an apple.
Stage 1. Fall off pony. Bounce. Laugh. Climb back on. Repeat.
Stage 2. Fall off horse. Run after horse, cussing. Climb back on by shimmying up horses neck. Ride until sundown.
Stage 3. Fall off horse. Use sleeve of shirt to stanch bleeding. Have friend help you get back on horse. Take two Advil and apply ice packs when you get home. Ride next day.
State 4. Fall off horse. Refuse advice to call ambulance; drive self to urgent care clinic. Entertain nursing staff with tales of previous daredevil stunts on horseback. Back to riding before cast comes off.
Stage 5. Fall off horse. Temporarily forget name of horse and name of husband/wife. Flirt shamelessly with paramedics when they arrive. Spend week in hospital while titanium pins are screwed in place. Start riding again before doctor gives official okay.
Stage 6. Fall off horse. Fail to see any humor when hunky/gorgeous paramedic says, You again? Gain firsthand knowledge of advances in medical technology thanks to stint in ICU. Convince self that permanent limp isnt that noticeable. Promise husband/wife youll give up riding. One week later purchase older, slower, shorter horse.
Stage 7. Slip off horse. Relieved when artificial joints and implanted medical devices seem unaffected. Tell husband/wife that scrapes and bruises are due to gardening accident. Pretend you dont see husband/wife roll eyes and mutter as he/she walks away. Give horse an apple.
Aug 12, 2013 17:31:53 #
Aug 12, 2013 17:44:30 #
Was this rider sippin' the 'shine before riding? :lol:
I've been riding since I was 11 and have never fallen off a horse, but then again I'm almost 60 and never been drunk either, so perhaps that's the key. :thumbup:
I've been riding since I was 11 and have never fallen off a horse, but then again I'm almost 60 and never been drunk either, so perhaps that's the key. :thumbup:
Aug 12, 2013 18:02:09 #
Aug 13, 2013 05:25:12 #
I've been riding many years and have never fallen off either...but I have been used as a launch vehicle by some grumpy equines...
Funny stuff.
Funny stuff.
Aug 13, 2013 14:55:26 #
axelsabro
Loc: E. Wa. Columbia River
I've been riding since I was five until I was 55. Only rode drunk once, bareback on idiot horse. Bucked off, fx'd pelvis, never rode drunk again. (fired from wrangler job. Went camping, laid in tent, too much pain. Took bus to parents house, they didn't even say "I told you so ...)
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