Thank God
Feb 13, 2013 20:42:24 #
A woman had to put up with her husband farting every night. And it wasn't just the noise that woke her, it was the stench.
Night after night, week after week, you get the point right ?
She told him time and time again " Harry, you're going to blast your guts out one night, do be careful"
So one night she got some chicken guts and placed them near his butt while he was sleeping.
She felt him get up early in the morning and pretended she was asleep. She heard him gasp and then all was quiet.
A little later she went downstairs to make coffee and there was Harry, all sweaty with a pale face near the kitchen sink.
She asked 'Harry, whats wrong dear?'
He said "Well, you warned me again and again and last night I blew me guts out. But with the help of the Lord and your wooden spoon I got them back in"
Sarge69
Night after night, week after week, you get the point right ?
She told him time and time again " Harry, you're going to blast your guts out one night, do be careful"
So one night she got some chicken guts and placed them near his butt while he was sleeping.
She felt him get up early in the morning and pretended she was asleep. She heard him gasp and then all was quiet.
A little later she went downstairs to make coffee and there was Harry, all sweaty with a pale face near the kitchen sink.
She asked 'Harry, whats wrong dear?'
He said "Well, you warned me again and again and last night I blew me guts out. But with the help of the Lord and your wooden spoon I got them back in"
Sarge69
Feb 13, 2013 21:01:12 #
Feb 13, 2013 21:10:50 #
LOL nice sarge69. This was the thought of the day in my local paper.
A woman will never be equal to a man until they can walk down the street bald with a beer gut and still think they are sexy
A woman will never be equal to a man until they can walk down the street bald with a beer gut and still think they are sexy
Feb 13, 2013 21:13:04 #
wannabe wrote:
LOL nice sarge69. This was the thought of the day in my local paper.
A woman will never be equal to a man until they can walk down the street bald with a beer gut and still think they are sexy
A woman will never be equal to a man until they can walk down the street bald with a beer gut and still think they are sexy
Hmmm - I'm not going to approach my wife with that one.
Sarge69
Feb 13, 2013 21:52:57 #
Well wannabe, First let me welcome you to the hog and I see
you joined on my birthday. The real test is when your are 64,
been with her for 49 years walk down the street bald and fat
and SHE still thinks your sexy. Had my birthday Saturday my
wife got me an _SUV_ Socks, Underwear, and Viagra ;) mdh
you joined on my birthday. The real test is when your are 64,
been with her for 49 years walk down the street bald and fat
and SHE still thinks your sexy. Had my birthday Saturday my
wife got me an _SUV_ Socks, Underwear, and Viagra ;) mdh
Feb 13, 2013 21:55:02 #
Morrisdh wrote:
Well wannabe, First let me welcome you to the hog and I see
you joined on my birthday. The real test is when your are 64,
been with her for 49 years walk down the street bald and fat
and SHE still thinks your sexy. Had my birthday Saturday my
wife got me an _SUV_ Socks, Underwear, and Viagra ;) mdh
you joined on my birthday. The real test is when your are 64,
been with her for 49 years walk down the street bald and fat
and SHE still thinks your sexy. Had my birthday Saturday my
wife got me an _SUV_ Socks, Underwear, and Viagra ;) mdh
Quote an assortment of gifts. Hope you got to use them all.
Sarge69
Feb 13, 2013 22:00:53 #
Morrisdh wrote:
Well wannabe, First let me welcome you to the hog and I see
you joined on my birthday. The real test is when your are 64,
been with her for 49 years walk down the street bald and fat
and SHE still thinks your sexy. Had my birthday Saturday my
wife got me an _SUV_ Socks, Underwear, and Viagra ;) mdh
you joined on my birthday. The real test is when your are 64,
been with her for 49 years walk down the street bald and fat
and SHE still thinks your sexy. Had my birthday Saturday my
wife got me an _SUV_ Socks, Underwear, and Viagra ;) mdh
Thanks for the welcome Morrisdh and Happy birthday. My boss(wife) and I have 23 in and counting. She tells me I am still sexy and thats all that matters. I do hope to pass that test Though!!!Mamas happy daddys happy.
Feb 13, 2013 22:01:06 #
Yes and we have sex almost every night. Almost had it Sat,
Sun, Mon but we forgot when we started.
I went into work today madder than a mashed cat, just ranting on and on. My boss (lady) called me in and demanded to know
why I was so upset. I told her that when you get our age and
only have sex about once a month that WELL last night was
the night and I forgot. :lol: :lol: mdh
Sun, Mon but we forgot when we started.
I went into work today madder than a mashed cat, just ranting on and on. My boss (lady) called me in and demanded to know
why I was so upset. I told her that when you get our age and
only have sex about once a month that WELL last night was
the night and I forgot. :lol: :lol: mdh
Feb 13, 2013 22:04:58 #
well at least you didnt waste the Viargra last night. If you have a Iphone you can set the date on the calendar!!!!!
Feb 13, 2013 22:15:55 #
Feb 13, 2013 22:27:55 #
Sarge69 I asked my grandfather for words of wisdom once and he looked me straight in the eye and said. Son if it's got Boobs
or Wheels on it, it's gonna cost you.
He used to say there was only two things to do on a rainy day,
and then sent me to the barn to shell corn. mdh
or Wheels on it, it's gonna cost you.
He used to say there was only two things to do on a rainy day,
and then sent me to the barn to shell corn. mdh
Feb 14, 2013 00:41:44 #
Morrisdh wrote:
Sarge69 I asked my grandfather for words of wisdom once and he looked me straight in the eye and said. Son if it's got Boobs
or Wheels on it, it's gonna cost you.
He used to say there was only two things to do on a rainy day,
and then sent me to the barn to shell corn. mdh
or Wheels on it, it's gonna cost you.
He used to say there was only two things to do on a rainy day,
and then sent me to the barn to shell corn. mdh
Really smart grandfather. Don't waste time
Sarge69
Feb 14, 2013 00:42:34 #
Morrisdh wrote:
Sarge69 I asked my grandfather for words of wisdom once and he looked me straight in the eye and said. Son if it's got Boobs
or Wheels on it, it's gonna cost you.
He used to say there was only two things to do on a rainy day,
and then sent me to the barn to shell corn. mdh
or Wheels on it, it's gonna cost you.
He used to say there was only two things to do on a rainy day,
and then sent me to the barn to shell corn. mdh
At one time I used to say ' 16 to 80, Deaf, Dumb, Blind or Cripple' fair game. I think I missed the blind one.
Sarge69
Feb 14, 2013 06:27:23 #
Duane D.
Loc: Kalkaska, Michigan
Sarge: I thought that was --- 8 to 80, blind, crippled, or insane as long as they had not been dead over 2 hours. My bad
Feb 14, 2013 07:17:53 #
Duane D. wrote:
Sarge: I thought that was --- 8 to 80, blind, crippled, or insane as long as they had not been dead over 2 hours. My bad
Duane,
Although I smile at yours, I did not initially want to offend certain sensitive individuals with the 8 figure or the expired over 2 hours. But what the hell, thanks for the reminder.
Sarge69
"God my avatar impresses me on some of these"
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