Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste time on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it’s like saying you extend life of a car by driving faster. Want to live longer? - Take nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that means they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. - Bottoms up!
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...very good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How can getting more vegetable be bad?
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around.
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is also a shape!
Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
Finally, the Japanese Doctor summed up: Look mister, Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Beer in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride my life was"!!!!!
Eat whatever you like because you will still DIE, don't allow motivational speakers deceive you.
1. The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54.
2. The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57.
3. The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41.
4. The best footballer in the world Maradona died at the age of 60.
BUT
5. The KFC inventor died at 94.
6. Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88.
7. Imagine, cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102.
8. The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 in an earthquake.
9. Hennessey Cognac inventor died at 98.
How did these doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?
The rabbit is always jumping up and down but it lives for only 2 years and the turtle that doesn’t exercise at all, lives 400 years.
So, take some rest, Chill, stay cool, eat, drink and enjoy your life.
YEP! Nobody gets out of life alive!
Andy
Funny but baloney. Exercise does prolong life. It builds muscles and oxygenates. I'd rather feel good from exercise than loggy from sitting around. Wouldn't you?
a salesman goes to Hong Kong on a bisness trip. while there he partakes of some "local talent" . a few weeks after returning to the USA he notices some discoloration at the base of his member so he goes to his doctor. the dr tells him he has contracted a rare STD for which there is no cure and his only option is amputation. the salesman is shocked and seeks a second opinion but gets the same answer, amputation. still unwilling to accept that he thinks maybe if i return to Hong Kong and see a Chinese dr they may know more about this. the Chinese dr confirms the STD but says no need to amputate. the salesman is relived and says "what can we do?" "American doctors, thats all they want to do is cut, cut, cut, give it a few more months and it will fall off by itself!"
MrMophoto
Loc: Rhode Island "The biggest little"
Spending hours sweating and exercising, eating all those "healthy" things (Kale, granola, etc.) staying away from the "unhealthy" things (ice cream, french fries, a good scotch, etc.) trying to learn something new everyday, and staying unnaturally active may not prolong your life, but it will sure seem that way!
Life is meant to be enjoyed, not endured
I am vindicated! Hooray for wine and chocolate.
Ava'sPapa wrote:
Moderation.
I've always enjoyed the witticism: Everything in moderation; including moderation.
Too much of anything is bad for you - especially moderation.
"I can resist anything except temptation" Oscar Wilde
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