ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
___
UHH ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
______
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception of the baby was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh....
______
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
A: One is a bitten dwelling scum sucking scavenger, the other one is a fish.
BW326
Loc: Boynton Beach, Florida
I have many good friens who are attorneys ... and they resemble those remarks!
You know why a shark won't eat a lawyer?
Answer: Professional ethics.
It was so cold the other day,that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pocket.
Do any of you know how many lawyer jokes there are?
Only three, the rest are all true.
Does anyone stop to think most of the people who govern our country have a law degree?
Do you know what 100 lawyers chained to a giant rock and thrown in the ocean is?
A: " A good start "
We have actually found a way to put lawyers to good use.
Speed bumps.
PrairieSeasons wrote:
We have actually found a way to put lawyers to good use.
Speed bumps.
I hate speed bumps......a humm
How come there are skid marks on both sides of the speed bump?
BW326 wrote:
I have many good friens who are attorneys ... and they resemble those remarks!
Hey Doc ..... after today you'll have to say used ta have .....
For the lawer who get's no respect: One night a lawer's house caught on fire, the wife quietly get's out of bed and get's the children and as they passed the master bedroom, the wife say's to the children "shh...Quiet kids, you'll wake up daddy"
Guy walks into a bar cussing and stomping, gruffly orders a large whisky from the bar tender and angerly drinks it and is mumbling and growling. The bar tender asks what the problem is. The customer starts to cuss and growl and says f***king lawyers are a bunch of assholes. A man at the other end of the bar loudly yells " I object to that!" The angry customer yells " Why!? are you a lawyer?"The other guy says " No! I'm a asshole!"
I hear that when lawyers die, they bury 'em deep...cause deep down, they're not bad people :shock:
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