Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle of the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home OK!
The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.
I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.
I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.
I woke up this morning at 8, and could just feel something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered, McDonald's serves breakfast until 11:30.
Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the fair last night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.
The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"
My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!" "Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"
A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal
immigrants come to this country so that they can see their own doctor.
I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.
Sarge69
sarge69 wrote:
Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle of the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home OK!
The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.
I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.
I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.
I woke up this morning at 8, and could just feel something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered, McDonald's serves breakfast until 11:30.
Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the fair last night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.
The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"
My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!" "Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"
A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal
immigrants come to this country so that they can see their own doctor.
I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.
Sarge69
Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke ... (
show quote)
Now those were too darn funny!!!
still rolling on floor laughing my ( ! ) off
I laughed, the wife groaned. :thumbup:
BW326
Loc: Boynton Beach, Florida
Sarge, You must now be hanging out with a better class of people, your jokes are getting even funnier.
It's the warm weather he's "forced" to endure.
dlwhawaii wrote:
It's the warm weather he's "forced" to endure.
Warm? It's frigging hot over here. This is the 1st time in 40 years my legs are getting a burn/tan.
Sarge69
PS: Tomorrow into the 'Cu Chi Tunnels' and maybe get a chance to fire an M16 and AK47 if I got some spare change.
Sarge,
I didn't know you were in SEA. I thought you were still in FL.
dlwhawaii wrote:
Sarge,
I didn't know you were in SEA. I thought you were still in FL.
Nope - Been here in Saigon since the 6th of Feb. Leaving on the 19 but will be busy until then with tours.
Do a search on Vietnam - Day
and my photos will show up.
Sarge69
GREAT -- love these -- glad you gave the coffee warning up front. Keep enjoying the trip.
I spent a year in Cu Chi. Nice little town. (Just kidding, except about the year there.). I'd like to see some pictures of what the Army base there looks like, now.
Steve, 554 Engineers. (We paved a lot of roads in that area)
Sneidley wrote:
I spent a year in Cu Chi. Nice little town. (Just kidding, except about the year there.). I'd like to see some pictures of what the Army base there looks like, now.
Steve, 554 Engineers. (We paved a lot of roads in that area)
There is no base now Sneidley. Its housing and markets. Every area I've seen where there was a military base is gone. No reminders for visitors or locals. Want to change history ? Destroy the evidence.
Sarge69
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