sarge69 Loc: Ft Myers, FL

NOAH TODAY

In the year 2011, the Lord came unto Noah,
who was now living in America and said:
"Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me."
"Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying:
"You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark. "Noah!," He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed."
"I needed a Building Permit." "I've been arguing with the Boat Inspector about the need for a sprinkler system."
"My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood by-laws by building the Ark in my back yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the local Planning Committee for a decision."

"Then the local Council and the Electricity Company demanded a shed load of money for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear none of it."

"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl."

"I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!"

"When I started gathering the animals the ASPCA took me to court. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space."

"Then the Environmental Agency ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study
on your proposed flood."

"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew."

"The Immigration Dept. is checking the
visa status of most of the people who want to work."

"The trade unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience."

"To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species."

"So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10years for me to finish this Ark."

"Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky." Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"


"No," said the Lord. "The Government beat me to it."

Sarge69

kprea2 Loc: Elkhart,IN

SCARY but funny. Don't need to worry about water,fire maybe. Thats another story.

workhorse Loc: Nashville, TN

I was going to buy a fire extinguisher but I figured what the heck, it would not do any good anyway.

Wabbit Loc: Arizona Desert

Hey Doc ..... ha,ha,ha,ha

SteveR Loc: Michigan

Hey Sarge, what will we ever do if you get a prescription for Ambien and actually get some sleep at night?

John Brown Loc: New Mexico

After the Ark came to rest on dry ground, Noah was asked how things went. He said thing went well, however, no more woodpeckers.

perezoscar Loc: El Paso Texas

Sarge, a good one again.
I am sending a copy to my friends at the City Of El Paso`s Building Inspection Dept.( I was member of the City`s Zoning Board ).

perezoscar Loc: El Paso Texas

Sarge, a good one again.
I am sending a copy to my friends at the City Of El Paso`s Building Inspection Dept.( I was member of the City`s Zoning Board ). :oops: