Dad Jokes
Mar 1, 2023 01:06:28 #
Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject?
Now you mention Botox, and no one raises an eyebrow.
Two years ago, my doctor told me I'm going deaf.
I haven't heard from him since.
My landlord said he needs to talk to me because my heating bill is too high.
I told him my door is always open.
Just got hospitalized due to a peekaboo accident with my kid.
They put me in the ICU.
Which celebrity is always ready for cereal?
Reese, with her spoon.
I ordered 2 large fries at McDonalds.
Instead they gave me about 75 tiny ones.
I ran out of toilet paper, so I've been using old newspapers.
Yeah, The Times are rough.
I called my boss today and said sorry I can't come in today, I have a wee cough.
He said, you have a wee cough?
I said, thanks boss, I'll see you next week.
and finally:
My wife said to me, why don't you treat me the way you did when we were dating?
So I took her to a movie, and then dropped her off at her parents house.
Now you mention Botox, and no one raises an eyebrow.
Two years ago, my doctor told me I'm going deaf.
I haven't heard from him since.
My landlord said he needs to talk to me because my heating bill is too high.
I told him my door is always open.
Just got hospitalized due to a peekaboo accident with my kid.
They put me in the ICU.
Which celebrity is always ready for cereal?
Reese, with her spoon.
I ordered 2 large fries at McDonalds.
Instead they gave me about 75 tiny ones.
I ran out of toilet paper, so I've been using old newspapers.
Yeah, The Times are rough.
I called my boss today and said sorry I can't come in today, I have a wee cough.
He said, you have a wee cough?
I said, thanks boss, I'll see you next week.
and finally:
My wife said to me, why don't you treat me the way you did when we were dating?
So I took her to a movie, and then dropped her off at her parents house.
Mar 1, 2023 05:29:22 #
Especially like the last one!Mar 1, 2023 14:38:07 #
Mar 1, 2023 15:03:10 #
Mar 1, 2023 22:17:11 #
Why can’t you see an elephant hiding in a tree?
Elephants are very food at hiding!
Why did the spider cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken’s leg
Elephants are very food at hiding!
Why did the spider cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken’s leg
Mar 2, 2023 05:39:15 #
Cheese wrote:
Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject?... (show quote)
Funny set. The last one was my favorite too.
Mar 2, 2023 05:50:12 #
Mar 2, 2023 09:22:52 #
Mar 2, 2023 09:37:23 #
Mar 2, 2023 11:45:52 #
Mar 2, 2023 13:49:14 #
You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish.did you know that there is no correlation between bow legged girls and cowboys that eat with their hats on.if dresses get any shorter and this wind refuses to behave, there will be two more cheeks to powder and another spot to shave.
Mar 2, 2023 18:19:03 #
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