Graham Thirkill Loc: Idylic North Yorkshire, England UK.

A bit of a long one, but a good one.

The Queen is visiting the army hospital in Scotland. She has heard how tough the Scots are, and
wants to meet some of these hero's.

She says hello to the first soldier in his bed.

Queen "And what are in here for?"
Soldier " Piles Ma'am, healing nicely though ma'am"
Queen "And what treatment are you receiving?"
Soldier "Wire brush and Dettol ma'am"
Queen "Oh my, and what ambitions do you have once you get out of here?"
Soldier "To get out of here and fight for you and my country ma'am"
Queen "Well done that man."

The queen moves to the second soldier.

Queen "And what are you in here for soldier?"
Soldier " Veneral Disease Ma'am."
Queen "And what treatment are you receiving?"
Soldier "Wire brush and Dettol ma'am"
Queen "Oh my, and what ambitions do you have for when you get out of here?"
Soldier "To get out of here and fight for you and my country ma'am"
Queen "Well done that man."

she moves to the last wee Scotsman at the end of the row.

Queen "And what are you in here for?"
Soldier " Laryngitis ma'am" he croaks.
Queen "Ohh, had that myself, very unpleasant. And what treatment are you receiving?"
Soldier " Wire brush and Dettol ma'am."
Queen "And what ambitions do you have now?"
Soldier "To get the wire brush and dettol before those dirty ba****ds ma'am!!!"

Iv'e had a warning from Admin about some of my jokes, due to other users complaining, so I have
to be careful or I'll be history. I think this joke will be ok. Maybe there should be a censors office like
they have in Prisons. I served 5 years in Leeds Prison in England. Yes I did, I was a discipline officer,
I think the USA call them guards. Cheers and Beers Grahm...098

Longshadow Loc: Audubon, PA, United States

Or the injured American who was taken to a British field hospital.
Upon waking up, the soldier asks "Did you bring me here to die?".

To which the aid answers, with a Cockney accent: "Nah, we brought you 'ere yesterday."....

Scruples Loc: Brooklyn, New York

First, my mate! Your jokes are okay with me. So what if you can tell a joke so delightful that it will make the Pope blush. Second, I have laid down some rib ticklers. And the Admin did not take kindly. So I was dragged by my ankles up to The Attic. I am so grateful there were only 39 steps and not 40. When someone went on about the 2nd Amendment I thought I should comment. I learned otherwise and have my dog hear what I have to write. If he laughs, I’ll put it on UHH. If he groans and heads back to sleep, I’ll take that as a no!
Third and last, Having worked as a civilian in a prison, there are a few things to know. They are not guards. They are correction officers. They receive the same training as NYPD. So did I except I did not require weapons training. The majority are 20years old when they start. They retire in 20 years with a pension. It’s not a bad gig for a day’s pay. Discipline is high and controlling an inmate requires mutual respect. I don’t need to know what crime was committed. I address them properly and with respect and have never had a problem even though I am short in comparison to most.
So my dear mate! Rest easy and don’t worry about your sense of humor (Sorry, Humour)
I will never forget that time you had me going when you tried to convince me I had 3 separate birthdays.

Graham Thirkill Loc: Idylic North Yorkshire, England UK.

You are a funny bugger, you never fail to make me laugh whoooooppps!!! Please don't report me for using the word "funny".??? Always Cheers and beers for you old chum....Graham....

Hello Uncle Steve


Nana's giving me my dinner


Showing my Granddad how to use my laptop he's hopeless


Me and my Granddads smart Phone

Longshadow Loc: Audubon, PA, United States

Graham Thirkill Loc: Idylic North Yorkshire, England UK.

I'm glad someone got it

Scruples Loc: Brooklyn, New York

She is so scrumptious! I’m in love with her cheeks and dimples.
You are one lucky grandpa!

By the way when she gets old enough she is gonna make fun of us using the computer.

I told my oldest son (a PhD in engineering) when he started to make fun of me when I needed help with the computer, I yelled laugh it up Mr Comedian, I taught you how to use a spoon!

John N Loc: HP14 3QF Stokenchurch, UK

Ava'sPapa Loc: Cheshire, Ct.

Good morning Graham and Phoebe. Yes Graham, you'd best be careful with admin. or they'll take that wire brush and dettol to you after they've been used on all of the Scottish soldiers.

limey

Graham,
There are so many Puritans around that there will always be someone complaining. I enjoy most of your jokes and if I don't I have the option of not reading it again. Gee, ain't that a radical thought.
Keep them coming.

raymondh Loc: Walker, MI

n4jee Loc: New Bern, NC

Dear Admin:
If Grham goes, I go.
Graham:
Keep them coming.
Gene

Niklon Loc: Athens, Ga

😂😂😂👍👍👍

47greyfox Loc: on the edge of the Colorado front range

Admin is an over achieving politically appropriate enforcer. People who impose their sensitivity bone on others need to get a life.
I see your name on a message header is an invitation to start my day off right. Keep them coming, my friend!
Cheers and beers to you, Graham!

KillroyII Loc: Middle Georgia

LoL…

& beautiful child. As a grandparent I know they are a blessing