JoAnneK01 Loc: Lahaina, Hawaii

Understanding Engineers #1:

Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."


Understanding Engineers #2:

To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.


Understanding Engineers #3:

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime!"
The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if here's anything she can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"


Understanding Engineers #4:

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons.
Civil engineers build targets.


Understanding Engineers #5:

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?”


Understanding Engineers #6:

Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.


Understanding Engineers #7:

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's cool."


And finally:

Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away.
One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
Both engineers have since quit their engineering jobs and are currently serving as elected members of congress.

Longshadow Loc: Audubon, PA, United States

SkyKing Loc: Thompson Ridge, NY

...thank you for the laughs...

JayRay Loc: Missouri

Thanks!
Those are good!

Architect1776 Loc: In my mind

NMGal Loc: NE NM

Love ‘em. Good ones.

UTMike Loc: South Jordan, UT

Good stuff, JoAnne!

JoAnneK01 Loc: Lahaina, Hawaii

Mahalo for all of your replies, all are appreciated.

dpullum Loc: Tampa Florida

#5, Yep, it rings true: My daughter told me she wanted to study art in college. I told her that artists starve and can not buy art supplies. Chose a profession where you can earn the money needed for art classes and supplies as an enjoyable hobby. She now teaches Psychology at a College and enjoys art as a diversion.

#6 Describes our world of photography. Iffin' it ain't complicated, then it ain't a good camera or software [Adobe of course, still stuck in the 1980s].

Lonnie77 Loc: Kennedale, Texas

If it ain't broke, don't fix it, but if you can improve it than do it.

raymondh Loc: Walker, MI

Red6

Here's one more!

During the French revolution three men were scheduled to be executed by the guillotine. The first man, an artist, was brought forth and the lever pulled to release the blade. The blade fell half way down and stopped. People gasped and the executioner shouted that by the grace of God this man had been saved. So he was released and set free.

The second man, a philosopher, was brought forth and again the lever was pulled, the blade dropped but once again, stopped half way down. Just as before, the cry came that he had been saved by the grace of God and he was also set free.

The third man, an engineer, was bought forward. As he walked toward the guillotine he looked up, studied the apparatus for a moment and said, wait a minute, I think I see your problem.

St.Mary's

Difference between an introverted engineer and an extroverted engineer. Introverted engineer looks at his/her shoes as he/she talks to you. Extroverted engineer looks at your shoes when he/she talks to you.

Terkat

Excellent !!!!!

Thanks,

Terry

sodapop Loc: Bel Air, MD

He was a Lubrication Engineer. All it needed was proper lubrication