How to remember religious differences
May 12, 2020 02:50:27 #
A story based on religious strictness that I posted yesterday elicited a number of friendly, helpful comments , letting me know that 1) other faiths can be very strict also, and 2) it is o.k. to post tasteful, inoffensive jokes here with a religious background. This encouraged me to share this simple way I had learned to understand the differences between religions.
**Protestants do not recognize the authority of the pope.
**Jews do not recognize the divinity of Jesus.
**Baptists do not recognize each other in a liquor sore
**Protestants do not recognize the authority of the pope.
**Jews do not recognize the divinity of Jesus.
**Baptists do not recognize each other in a liquor sore
May 12, 2020 06:33:44 #
May 12, 2020 07:08:14 #
whfowle
Loc: Tampa first, now Albuquerque
The first two are theologically correct while the last is anecdotally correct.
May 12, 2020 08:10:59 #
May 12, 2020 12:01:56 #
May 12, 2020 14:20:15 #
Eff Ess in Ess Eff wrote:
A story based on religious strictness that I pos... (show quote)
Ah, but the liquor store also sells ice cream, snacks, candy and soft drinks.
In my home county in the 50s people still told stories about the Moonshine Still set up during the depression by: A couple of ministers, the town doctor and the county sheriff with some farmers supplying the grain for the still. They all had cars, tractors etc converted to burn alcohol by a mechanic who went to the Baptist Church, was a patient of the doctor and the mechanic for the county vehicles. They were all burning it in place of the gasoline they couldn't afford. Strange thing, it was the only still in the county that the feds were never able to find. No one ever reported it, the Sheriff and his guys couldn't find it when the Feds came looking. And my home county is a "Dry" county. In Kentucky it is up to the county if they are "wet" or "dry". The last time I looked it up Bourbon County was dry and Christian County was wet.
May 12, 2020 14:39:19 #
Eff Ess in Ess Eff wrote:
A story based on religious strictness that I pos... (show quote)
Once when I was teaching I had a colleague, from a tee-tolling background, who shared her old family solution to garden slugs: shallow dishes of beer, because it was sweet enough to attract them, and then they would drown / be poisoned in them. However, her family would buy the stuff in the next country.
May 12, 2020 22:26:42 #
Frank T wrote:
You forgot, Evangelicals don't recognize each other in a whore house.
Oh, that's a funny one, Frank.
May 13, 2020 10:11:38 #
In my state there are state liquor stores. They are a great source of cardboard boxes (empty)and they always have large numbers of them which are given out free. I could never quite figure why there are so many available. One day it dawned on me. This state is heavily Baptist, and similar conservative Christian denominations, which means no one, but no one of these groups would be seen dead or alive with a liquor box, empty or full.
May 13, 2020 12:07:30 #
May 13, 2020 16:41:03 #
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump. I ran over and said: "Stop. Don't do it."
"Why shouldn't I?" he asked.
"Well, there's so much to live for!"
"Like what?"
"Are you religious?"
He said: "Yes."
I said: "Me too. Are you Christian or Buddhist?"
"Christian."
"Me too. Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
"Protestant."
"Me too. Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
"Baptist."
"Wow. Me too. Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"
"Baptist Church of God."
"Me too. Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God."
"Me too. Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?"
He said: "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915."
I said: "Die, heretic scum," and pushed him off.
"Why shouldn't I?" he asked.
"Well, there's so much to live for!"
"Like what?"
"Are you religious?"
He said: "Yes."
I said: "Me too. Are you Christian or Buddhist?"
"Christian."
"Me too. Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
"Protestant."
"Me too. Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
"Baptist."
"Wow. Me too. Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"
"Baptist Church of God."
"Me too. Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God."
"Me too. Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?"
He said: "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915."
I said: "Die, heretic scum," and pushed him off.
May 13, 2020 16:43:39 #
May 13, 2020 22:18:27 #
Frank T wrote:
You forgot, Evangelicals don't recognize each other in a whore house.
I guess you’re safe in your bath house then.
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