Religious pre-nup
May 10, 2020 04:43:21 #
A young Hasidic Jewish couple is deeply in love and wants to marry.They decide to discuss the question of conjugal intimacy with their rabbi in order to avoid problems by unintentionally violating any one of a number of possible rules of their conservative faith.
At the meeting, they wait while the rabbi explains their religious obligations in marriage. Then, when the rabbi asks if they have any questions, the groom-to-be asks about whether they can consummate the marriage on their wedding night. "Of course" the rabbi answers. "God wants you to experience joy and love. It's a blessing."
"And how often after that?"
"As often as you want to. It's a blessing. Our God is demanding but loving. He wants you to experience the pleasures of the world and life he has created."
Heartened by this tone, they ask more. "How about sex aids or toys?"
"Why not? It may enrich your experience and it doesn't break any laws"
"How about different positions?". they ask.
"Like what?"
"How about female superior?"
"Sure. Enjoy life and love. It's a blessing.
"How about standing?"
Here the rabbi changes his tone, "No not that one. That you may not do."
Puzzled, they ask him why not.
"Because it might lead to dancing"
."
At the meeting, they wait while the rabbi explains their religious obligations in marriage. Then, when the rabbi asks if they have any questions, the groom-to-be asks about whether they can consummate the marriage on their wedding night. "Of course" the rabbi answers. "God wants you to experience joy and love. It's a blessing."
"And how often after that?"
"As often as you want to. It's a blessing. Our God is demanding but loving. He wants you to experience the pleasures of the world and life he has created."
Heartened by this tone, they ask more. "How about sex aids or toys?"
"Why not? It may enrich your experience and it doesn't break any laws"
"How about different positions?". they ask.
"Like what?"
"How about female superior?"
"Sure. Enjoy life and love. It's a blessing.
"How about standing?"
Here the rabbi changes his tone, "No not that one. That you may not do."
Puzzled, they ask him why not.
"Because it might lead to dancing"
."
May 10, 2020 06:09:41 #
May 10, 2020 06:47:18 #
May 10, 2020 07:19:41 #
May 10, 2020 08:34:26 #
Heard that one before in a different way. Long story short: no dancing at Christian schools because it might lead to sex standing up.
Both funny.
Both funny.
May 10, 2020 10:23:13 #
May 11, 2020 07:31:53 #
May 11, 2020 10:17:09 #
May 11, 2020 13:22:42 #
Eff Ess in Ess Eff wrote:
A young Hasidic Jewish couple is deeply in love an... (show quote)
Isn't religion wonderful...
bwa
May 11, 2020 14:38:16 #
May 11, 2020 15:32:52 #
May 11, 2020 17:22:15 #
josquin1
Loc: Massachusetts
I heard this as a Baptist joke. In a way it makes more sense as a Baptist joke.
May 11, 2020 19:44:02 #
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