Graham Thirkill Loc: Idylic North Yorkshire, England UK.

🎈🎈
Her Majesty the Queen...😂😂

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.

"In light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA, and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, and Utah, which she does not fancy).

Our new Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
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1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
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2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as 'like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of '-ize.'
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3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
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4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
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5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
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6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
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7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
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8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
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9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
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10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
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11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
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12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
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13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad
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14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776)
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15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!

P.S.: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour ( NOT humor )!

P.P.S.: I hope you are all well and keeping safe, God Bless You ALL....

Many Cheers and Beers
Graham
/098\

ELNikkor

Here, Here! 2 chears for Grate Ingland!

Mark Sturtevant Loc: Grand Blanc, MI

All good! Thank you Graham! For #13, it really was the Mafia in coordination with Lyndon Johnson and the F.B.I. director J. Edgar Hoover. But only wackos believe the truth about that one for some reason.

Bob Mevis Loc: Plymouth, Indiana

All good ones.

rehess Loc: South Bend, Indiana, USA

They already have a start on #6 - our Civil Engineers have fallen in love with Roundabouts. Our city turned many one-way streets downtown into two-way streets, and used Roundabout at almost every place where a street used to change from a two-way to a one-way.

leftj Loc: Texas

Extremely lame. No wonder the British Empire tumbled.

NMGal Loc: NE NM

Glad you are back again.

UTMike Loc: South Jordan, UT

Good one, Graham!

DirtFarmer Loc: Escaped from the NYC area, back to MA

Looking forward to #9

dancers Loc: melbourne.victoria, australia

Hear! Hear! Long may our Queen Elizabeth live! ( so far so good!

john451 Loc: Lady's Island, SC/Columbia, SC

I knew Harry and Meghan came for a reason! They can lead us in "God Save the Queen" for "My Country 'Tis of Thee" and "To Anacreon in Heaven" for "The Star Spangled Banner".

Starman441 Loc: Iguana Land, Fl.

Starman441 Loc: Iguana Land, Fl.

Cheerio Mate! Maybe the UK should wean us all on some "Yorkshire Pudding" to help with the transition!

Graham Thirkill Loc: Idylic North Yorkshire, England UK.

Specially for you and other Yorkshire pudding fans, if you haven't tried them, they are delicious with rich, thick onion gravy. If you make plenty they're just as delicious with strawberry jam ,syrup honey, or whatever takes your fancy on your desert

YORKSHIRE PUDDING FOR 4
Yorkshire Pudding was originally served as a first course, to temper the appetite and make the meat go further.

But crisply-made Yorkshire Pud is now - and with every reason - something of a delicacy. There are just a few rules: for a successful pudding you must (i) have the oven very hot, (ii) use a flameproof metal container, and (iii) always use plain flour rather than self-raising.

For a larger Yorkshire Pudding batter to serve 6, Click Here. You can now watch how to make Yorkshire Pudding in our Cookery School 'Batters' video lesson below.

This recipe is adapted from Delia Smith’s Complete Illustrated Cookery Course Serves 4

BRITISH, SUNDAY ROAST, ENTERTAINING, DELIA ONLINE COOKERY SCHOOL
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METHODINGREDIENTS
METHOD

To make the batter, sift the flour into a bowl (with a cloth under it to keep it steady), holding the sieve quite high to give the flour a good airing, add some seasoning then make a well in the centre.

Break the eggs into it and beat with an electric hand whisk (you can also use a balloon whisk), gradually incorporating the flour, and then gradually add and beat in the milk and water. When its all in, slide a rubber spatula all around the sides and base of the bowl to get any escaped bits of flour. Then give it one more whisk. There is no need to leave the batter to stand, so make it whenever it’s convenient.

If you are cooking your Yorkshire pudding to accompany a roast, about 15 minutes before the joint is due to come out of the oven, increase the heat to 220°C, gas mark 7 add the dripping (or oil) to the pan and place it in the oven to heat, for 10 minutes. While your meat is resting, or when you are ready to cook the Yorkshire, place the pan or tin over direct heat, turned to high, while you pour the batter into the sizzling hot fat. Immediately return the tin to the highest shelf in the oven (or, if you have roast potatoes on that one, the second highest).

The pudding will take 25-30 minutes to rise and become crisp and golden. Serve as soon as possible: if it has to wait around too long it loses its crunchiness but if it does pop it under a hot grill or back in the oven to crisp up.
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Enjoy, let me know how you get on with yours.......Enjoy

Cheers and Beers
Graham 098

PLEASE KEEP SAFE AND WELL.......
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Individual Yorkshire pudding, I usually have 4 at least


You can also make them in a large square or round oven tin and cut them into portions

usken65

Actually we have been kicking around the idea of takin jolly old England since your lot has a bad habit of getting into world wars. The biggest problem is you don’t invite us until you are in trouble.